The Terrible Writings of Quentin Montejo
Serial experiments on a fallen archangel who only wanted to regain just one wing back
Free of the World. Rain worshipper. Hermit. Tormented mind. Caged spirit. Defiant and eternal enemy of Destiny and Fate. Poet. Scientist. Artist. Daydreamer. He who laughs. Slacker. Sleeper. Romancer of wings and clouds. Fiercely independent. He who is ponderous. Games and anime junkie. Four eyes. Caveman. Nature-lover. He who doesn't think that hard. Non-smoker. Music-junkie. Counter of blessings. Guitar-hugger. He who simply wants what everybody else would like to be in this world and the next -- to be happy.
Friday, March 31, 2006
<Xenecrite> wanna hear a joke?
<Xenecrite> Women's Rights
<Lone_wolf_gurl> you have 5 seconds to start running.
Looking forward to this weekend.
To do absolutely nothing.
Me: Absorber of Sorrow
Realized that it's a pattern.
I enter someone's life, take away their sorrow, and then I'll be the one to contain it and go away. I guess I'm born that way, and I'd probably die that way.
Harsh. Harsh indeed.
And I sound really stooopid.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
It Rained !!
Dunno. It makes me happy XD
Reminds me of a highschool project I created. The teacher told as to draw comics about a topic or something [eherm, yay I get to draw!].
I've created one, and I've entitled it Ulan.
Ofcourse inside showcases my then fascination with human poses and profile views. It's also about Mia ^_^ my first true angelic goddess.
I still have the comic to this day. It's sort of lame, but still, it was my obra. And to me, it is one of my most prized posessions.
And now, for our dose of bash XD
mouAng: cuz im not perverted
IllIllziroIllIll: say something perverted
IllIllziroIllIll: at least once
mouAng: ums okays
The Chronicles of E.O.C. [Eater of Children]
Sorry, fan-fic XD
I am walking aimlessly in the desert. Stepping over the sand, leaving my footprints behind. I know I made them, but I just didn't look.
I wanted to feel the sun, but the sun's heat is only but a thermal meter in my head -- the only human organ left in my body. Yet even barely human that I am, I have not lost my bloodlust for the hunt. And very soon, I will discover the thrill of the battle.
I have two other 'brothers'. Accretians who share the same DNA signature as me. But the information I was able to download is anything but news of beneficial nature. I have an elder brother, a fellow warrior, who assigned to step on this same area and accomplish missions. His call sign was Netherdaemon. I have a younger brother, call sign Raz the Weak, commissioned to become an engineer for the empire and has seen more field work than I had according to the records.
And as the last part of the data I have learned that their lives were made forfeit. My elder brother has already been deactivated and his mantle will be used to house another Accretian. My younger sibling will soon share the same fate.
The reason was because of our DNA. The science department deemed it as 'tainted' for reasons that still is unknown to me.
And for the first time in my life, I felt fear. Perhaps it is of death. But such should not concern the metal armor that I am wearing. No, it can't possibly just it. Perhaps honor? Or purpose?
I must find out.
I am given this body to be strong. And with this body I will fight. The possibilities of an infinite lifetime with this body will enable me to know my 'taint'. Why am I allowed to live, while my brothers were not?
The sound of launchers echo in the distance.
I run off to join the hunt.
I Remember the Days: Game and Watch
<Grid> Hey Psyko, if the world was gonna end in 3 minutes, what would you do?
<Psyko> I'D SCREW ANYTHING THAT MOVES!!! What would you do?
<Grid> ... ... ... I'd stand very very still. o.o;
So what's to remember?
Well, here's to me and my story with gaming. Yeah, it started out with Nintendo's Game and Watch. You know? Those hand held stuff that has repeated algorithms giving you Parkinson's afterwards?
Yeah, I never actually owned any until I was ... highschool o.O it's a repressing thing if you know what it feels like for a kid that as an overactive brain. Back then I would save money [coins] and come barrio fiesta, these vendor guys in their push-a-majigs with lots of things on it would come to our little barrio and sell their wares.
The other thing they had were rent-a-game&watch which are those handhelds tied to their carts. It cost a peso to have a game then. And gee, was I cheating on them, ahahaha. Sigh. Here are the Nintendo G&W I've encountered:
- Mickey Mouse [the eggs ...]
- Popeye [the weed ... I mean spinach]
- Helicopter [rescue those damnable people on fire ... oops!]
- Donkey Kong Jr.
- er ... to be continued. boss alert! ahaha
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Again from bash XD
Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh shit!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...
and this by far, is the winner XD XD XD
icemann182002: YOU ARE FUCKING GAY IF YOU READ THIS.
Jambalaya : shit, I guess I'm gay now
Shibs: What? I can't make out the message.
Random Thoughts: The Fall of Blog
Looks like I've got something in my hands that will keep me busy (albeit happily). And as such, it'll preoccupy my head for quite a while. I'll give it, say a couple of months before I get out of this fever. You ask what it is?
Well, it's RF Online ofcourse. I've created my character and is now happily bashing away senselessly. Ofcourse knowing me, I'd name my virtual avatar something sick, like say EaterOfChildren. That should strike fear into the hearts of those kids.
Technically speaking, Guild Wars offers much better graphics. And has no subscription fee to boot. However, the community is all-Pinoy since it is hosted by Level-Up games (the same one which controls Ragnarok Online). It's just funny that they're in the battlefield ranting and stuff.
For the Empire of Accretia, I will hurt you!
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Okay, Now This Sucks
My cellphone went off by itself.
Then when I activated it again, I put in the pin number.
And it is 'code error'.
I input again.
I now refuse to use the damn thing again.
UPDATE: And now ladies and gentlemen, it's effing SIM blocked.
Nothing to Blog Today
Just so I don't break a streak XD
Oh, but I have a geek-loser chat convy I got from bash again
<puertoroo> so, i was at the store and the hot female clerk was checking me out and stuff
<puertoroo> then we came back to my place and tore my bedroom up
<puertoroo> then we did it on the stove and then on the washing machine
<HuhWhat> And in the real world, what happened?
<puertoroo> ....i never even made it to the store :(
Friday, March 24, 2006
Harry Potter's Wang
Well, I dunno. It's just hilarious XD. Got it from the same site as with the priceless IRC chat conversations.
Yeah, my early years of IT were full of it.
<JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
<JonJonB> Let's see the results...
<JonJonB> "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
<JonJonB> "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything
<JonJonB> A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.
<JonJonB> "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
<JonJonB> "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "
<JonJonB> Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls
<JonJonB> "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"
<JonJonB> The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.
<JonJonB> He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.
<JonJonB> He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.
<JonJonB> I have found, definitive proof
<JonJonB> that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
<JonJonB> "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
<melusine > O_______O
<JonJonB> Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang
<JonJonJonB> Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.
<JonJonJonB> 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.
Prose: The First Word
Been long since I made a piece. This one is made out of braind damage while pondering on the simplicity of haikus [though you'll notice these aren't metered in anyway] and a lot of oriental paintings. I'm sure you people what those are like.
<3 simple art
Us humans are incredibly
Are we not?
Just look at a crowd
Everyone goes here and there
Faces that don't mean to you
It's even hard to find a face
Who'd look back at you
And call your name
It's a sweet sound
Is it not?
Someone calling your name ...
Us humans are incredibly
Repressed that we forget
Yet it happens
Out of hate
If someone can
Know my name
And utter it
Can never feel alone
And if someone
Can say it
Out of serendipity
Is it not
A very joyous miracle
Wouldn't you agree?
If someone can
Say it as sweetly
Then I am terribly whole
Because I am known
I am here
I belong ...
Random Thoughts: The Weirding
Whenever somebody tries to look for the lyrics for You and Me, somebody ought to be dropping by this site o_O
And yes, today is from MSN Search.
On a better look at the things around me, I just discovered a newly opened boutique in Megamall, named Kultura Filipino.
It showcases a lot of our native crafts and stuff, and there's even food o_O funny how I was looking for dried mangoes and there's none there XD there's cornbits and some exotic ones though.
I should say, the clothes they're selling have taste, I just might buy one of those long sleeves because it has embroidered designs instead of printed. They also have a good, but rather small line for barongs. I might get one of those too, because I need two more.
It pretty much occupies a rather large space, and since it is newly open, I think they haven't maximized the area they have covered. Heck I doubt how much revenue they'll get to support the venture. Still, I'm optimistic, because I like things like this popping out.
And yes, I don't know how to describe where it is located, except it's on the ground floor *tee hee*
Thursday, March 23, 2006
A Surprise Dilemma
I was thinking of buying a digicam.
And then I have started fancying on getting myself a PS2, or a PSP.
If I get the first, I'll have an artsy-fartsy hobby to busy myself with. And I'll be happy.
If I get the second, I'll be having a day in a week not going to the office just so I could play. And I'll be happy.
If I get both, I may need to get a job that pays while I'm at home playing games or making artsy-fartsy stuff.
That would like, rock.
This is me, using a fishing pole somebody else left
Oh, and that's the Golden Gate bridge at the background
I was fat then ...
Google and WiQM??
Now this is neat. Google had just exclusively mapped my blog, and as a popular result several times already.
Here, click on this ->link<- and see my blog in all it's naked result glory.
Incidentally, most of the google hits were the songs I post here. MSN Search is doing that to me too. Among other things >_<
Then again, my destiny for fame is at hand! Muahahaha.
Ok, time for my medication now.
Getting Sick, I Think
Looks like my body can't take the reduced-carbo diet I've been having, and I'm getting some annoying little ailments that's just well ... annoys me. And it's weird because I sure am having more Vitamin C intake than I had the past months. Water intake hasn't changed [I'm like a frog] so not in that department I guess.
Looks like I have to take a bit more lessons with Captain Nutrition.
Gee, I think I can feel my rib cage >_<
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Found the funniest web site I came across with. It's a place where funny conversations over the chat are recorded and submitted.
IRC + gullibility + jocks/bitches/pricks/geeks = endless fun for everyone
Some pieces of shite:
That place is gonna be my fave site evar!
Initial Review: RF Online
After being a Guild Wars whore for a long time even some of my guildmates eventually leaving, I myself have not played it for a month, I am getting my fancies up for RF Online.
I will admit, I had myself become biased because I read another reviewer's commentaries first: in short this MMORPG is functional but dismal for him. Now if I read things like this, what's there for me to enjoy anyway?
Well in comes the fact that I am a devourer of fiction and imagery, concepts fuel my mind whenever it is exposed to things like this, regardless what other people think. I _might_ buy this game and get my grubby hands on it, for the simple fact that I want to experience it. I have not checked Gibbity for reviews yet [will do in a few minutes].
Anyway, here's a rundown of the elements of the game.
The races are the people of:
- Accretia: think like the Borg, except with style. I like the idea of this race, inside the fashionable armor is a throbbing brain that pilots their cyborg bodies.
- Cora: Ku Klux Klan meets Victoria's Secret meets Protoss. If I do get the game I'm going for this race because it currently is underdog. And they have sexy chic models to boot.
- Bellato: intergalactic geeks -- yeap, it's an apt description. The site says they're dwarfen [note, not dwarVen] and I would've half-expected them to be pudgy and sport beards and say "Aye!". When I saw them, they were right ... they _we're_ dwarfen, meaning, midgety like a kid, not midgety like a midget.
They're roughly Starcraft's races melded with medieval swordsmen and gunners. Heck, the 'fleshy' races have pointy ears, so I guess there's no 'human' or neutrally-inclined race.
The classes aren't that broad-spectrum grade. Each race has warrior, archer, and specialist [support class] classes, with the Cora having a spiritualist as a fourth class. At level 30 you get to evolve or choose your 1st job [hurray!] and at 40 you get a second job [calloo-callay!]. Now what thought to leave you with? Okay just try to make guesses how long you'll be playing this just to get to level 25.
I've downloaded a feature video of it, and was expecting some serious battle with explosions and sexy war, but what I got was Anakin Skywalker [Bellato] getting a hard-on with an elven [Cora] broad and getting out of there on a desert racer or something while pursued by evil, er ... things [Accretia] complete with a pursuit scene in a trench [oh how Star Waresque]. This would've been all cheesy and stuff, except that the background music was FF9-esque sung by Lea Salonga or Faye Wong. And as you know, those things make me cry and feel all warm and fuzzy inside [yeah yeah, laugh all you want bozo].
So, RF Online. What to do with ye?
"So, let's do this the hard way, or the harder way -- who effing left that stinking, unsinkable log in the toilet?"
Kakatwa: Milo Monster
Nung mga nakaraang araw, may nagbebenta ng Milo na drink sa tetra pack. Bili ako shempre, mga apat. Isinupot ng nagbebenta sa loob mismo ng pantry namin. Since malapit lang naman ang fridge, linagay ko kagad ang supot sa loob sa level ng vegetable bin.
Kinahapunan, kumuha ako. Naasar ako kase may mokong na naglagay ng Milo ko sa freezer tapos binalik sa ilalim. Kaya ayun, ang hirap niyang sipsipin sa straw >_<*
Kinabukasan kukuha ako uli. Nagulat ako ng tatlo pa rin yung nasa supot.
Saka lang pumasok sa isip ko -- may iba pa palang bumili ng Milo. At natagpuan ko na at least may tatlong supot sa fridge, isa sa akin.
Hindi ko na alam kung alin ang sa akin.
Basta kumuha na lang ako sa isang random supot.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Thought Bit: Kundiman
I blogged about this.
*Listening to Kundiman songs*
- Larry Miranda - Sa Langit Maghihintay
- Diomedes Maturan - Sa Sulyap Mo
- Darius Razon and Rhodora Silva - Lahat ng Araw
My father can actually sing like one >_< woo
Ashley in her chibi years XD
Her name actually came from a perfume Mom bought and she ...
liked using them on our then puppy, West
Lakbay Diwa: Ligaya
Remember this -- that it takes very little to make a happy life.
- Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor, 121 AD
Gumising ako kaninang umaga nang iisang bagay ang nasa isip -- kelangan ko nang maglaba.
Kung sa iba yan, iisipin nila, "Labahin na naman?"
Sa akin naman ay, "Buti na lang may labada ako. Ibig sabihin may maisusuot ako at may trabaho ako."
Oo nga, maganda na yung binibilang ang biyaya sa mga maliliit na bagay sa mundong ito. Ayoko maging sopistikado. Kumplikado na nga akong tao, pahihirapan ko pa sarili ko sa mga bagay na di naman talaga importante. If I don't need it, I can probably live without it.
Nakakagaang nga naman ng pakiramdam. Siguro kaya ako nakapag-survive ng kahit gani-ganito lang. Ah ewan natin. Lahat ay puedeng mangyari sa mundong ito. Kelangan ko lang maging handa.
Nag-iisip na naman ako na parang ermitanyo. Maganda/mabuti? [Y/N]
Hindi na ako naglalalabas o gimik man lang. Okay na rin yun, tipid na rin. Nag-iingat na rin ako sa pagkain at hindi na laging nag-o-over-eat. Tapos tuwing umuuwi ako sa Cavite, hanggang Lunes ako, kaya andami kong natitipid.
Nagdesisyon akong regaluhan ang tatay ko. Ibibigay ko yung relo niyang pagkagustu-gusto. Siguro pagdating ng Sabado o Linggo. Advanced birthday gift ko na yun. Kahit gaganun-ganon yung tatay kong yon, tatay ko pa rin yun. Kahit minsang gusto ko nang hambalusin ng patiwarik e, siya pa rin ang aking ama.
Kahapon lang nakadiskubre ako ng martial arts class sa Megamall. Either Karatedo o Aikido [meron ding ballroom dancing]. Iniisip ko pa kung gusto ko ng sakit ng katawan ...
Yung opismeyt ko naman, kating-kati na sa Palawan. Three weeks to go! Wahoo! ^_^ [yung 'Wa-hoo!' daw e Mandarin for 'A-choo!' ... potek sino nga ba nagasabi sa kin nun?]
Romanticism is not to be confused with plain obnoxiousness
Always follow what's in your heart
Always listen to what's inside
Always fly high & don't come down
And don't come (down)
Don't push yourself far over the limit
Push your mind ahead with your spirit
Push it to where you never thought you
could go right
And never come down
- Pink Life by Gyskard [another great beach music piece]
Monday, March 20, 2006
Who is Quentin Montejo ?? : The Manga
Actually, ni-rename ko yan dati into Nine AM [tingin niyo link sa taas]. Mashado kaseng parang self-worship ang WiQM kaya binago ko. Kaya Nine AM kase, that's the start of office hours ^_^ or in this case, the start of all the buffoonery of the characters XD
Supposed to be kase, parang parody/spoof/drama/comedy about being a modern urban yuppie at kung anu-ano mang mga kaangalan, reklamo, kasiyahan, etc. sa buhay ng mga taong nagtatrabaho na.
Ginawa ko to para sa tulad ko nun [well, more like when I was about 22~24 yrs old pa, nyahaha] na tinatamaan na ng quarter-life crisis. Tapos di alam kung ano pararatingan sa buhay kahit na meron nang direksyon sa harapan nila.
Syet, dapat english mode. Anyway, it's all about the celebration of living life confusingly in the slow lane.
The cast of Who is Quentin Montejo?? / Nine AM
Kaya ko na-abandon yung project kase ... ang hirap gawin, ahaha. Magbuo lang storya, praktis ng character-drawing, talagang kumakain ng oras. E ang gusto ko lang naman nun e maglaro ng PC games [adiiiiik].
There's a bit of a disenchanted, twisted love story ofcourse ...
Lilith is the object of Quentot's affections
Character profiles in here ... er at the bottom >_<
Incidentally, all characters are into IT,
except Lilith who is an accountant
Lakbay Diwa: Larawan
Parang gusto ko na ring bumili ng digicam.
Shempre pa puro ka-art-ehan yung gagawan ko nun. Amboring kaya kung puro mukha lang ng kung sinu-sino ang paggagamitan ko nun. Gusto ko kuha ko ang kulay ng mundong ibabaw, ang galaw ng malikot na lungsod, at ang hugis ng bawat sulok at linya ng bawat tanawin.
Siguro digicam na super laki ng memory, kung sakaling gusto kong magsimulang maging editor ng vid clips [to record more scandals my dear]. *MmmmM* as in MmmmMemory XD
Nararapat bang pigilan ang damdamin na, lalong mahulog sa iyo?
- Spongecola, Una
Friday, March 17, 2006
Excited ako for the next week para sa isang walang kwentang dahilan: napadaan ako sa luma kong web site, at di ko alam naka-store pala dun yung mga luma kong sketches since 2002 pa. Kaya para sa buong week next week, i-u-upload ko sa photobucket yung mga yun.
Ano yung mga yun? 2002 yata ang huli kong attempt sa pagseseryoso sa pagguhit. Nung ginamit ko uli yung kakayahan kong yon nung nakaraang Pebrero e talaga namang pinulikat ang kamay ko -_-
Sabihin ko na, marami akong frustrations sa buhay. Frustrated musician na, frustrated comic writer/drawer pa. Hay. Eto mga panimula :)
Ito si Ashley, isa sa main character ko sa comic strip na kapangalan ng blog na to [E ano pa nga ba iyon kundi "Who is Quentin Montejo??"]
Si July naman ito. Kasama sa WiQM?? cast. Siya yung mayumi at mahinhin :)
At ito ang paborito kong character -- si Lilith. Pansin niyo yung tali sa buhok niya sa likod [actually turn-on sa kin yung hairstyle na yan]
Si Quentot :}
Si Jillian Ibarraconmienda. Bida sa comics kong pamagat ay "Ang Sumpa". Kung nagbabasa kayo ng Noli me Tangere, ang Ibarraconmienda ay ang buong apelyido ng bida dun -- si Crisostomo Ibarra
Pedrito -- Jillian's sidekick. Kumbaga kay Darna ay si Ding :D
Chibi form of Jillian and Pedrito :)
Blast from the Past: Kiddie Party
Kung malalaman niyo, lahat ng mga scanned pictures ko e from kid to elementary. Wala akong record ng sarili ko from highschool to college, puera lang yung grad pics.
Ni grad pics ng college wala ako e. Sinira ng taga-develop. Grrrr
The Addams family during one of the better days XD
Yeap, ito ang henerasyon ko at nang mga pinsan ko. Saya namin no? :) Mukhang bata pa lang nagpraktis na kong magsuot ng tie XD
Lakbay Diwa: Hagkan ang Umaga
Kaninang umaga, ginawa ko ang isa sa mga bagay na nakakapagpasaya sa kin: ang maggitara habang paparating pa lang ang umaga.
Ilang beses ko na ring sinasabi kung gano kagaan sa pakiramdam tuwing ginagawa ko ito. Parang personal na bagay na walang ibang makakaintindi kumbaga.
Saulado ko na yung pagtapik sa kantang "You and Me" ng Lifehouse. Isang kantang minsan ay naging importante sa kin na pakinggan. Masaya at malungkot siyang kantahin dahil isang yugto ng buhay ko meron akong gustong kantahan nito. Pero kahit nakalipas na yun, iba pa rin ang dating ng kantang ito sa akin.
Coz it's you and me
And all other people
Nothing to do
Nothing to lose
Pasalamat na rin ako, akala ko kase gawa na ko sa bato. Hindi pa pala :)
What day is it?
And then what month?
This clock never seemed so alive ...
Kailangan ko pa ng guro para makapagpagaling sa kin sa paggitara. Wala akong improvement e, gusto ko talagang matuto pa. Shempre yung libre, hehehe.
Sarap ding makinig o makikanta sa mga taong may talento sa pagkanta. Wala ako nun e. Ambisyon lang :)
Thursday, March 16, 2006
The Chronicles of Bora: Aquaman
Okay just to be fair with the guys, I made something that makes fun of myself. Actually, I do this to myself a lot -_-
Oh but I do have something for Batman and Robin ...
Man's Invention: War
Another pause from Tagalog month. Just had to write this.
I was reading further in Newsweek and then I came across about an article of a doctor [batallion surgeon] in the battlefield. The life of Lt. Cmdr. Richard Jadick.
Sure, I am a bit of a warfreak, and I love the grandiose depictions of armies against armies like in LOTR and Braveheart, or maybe the battles in games like Warcraft or such. What I didn't like were those WW2-style scenarios. Why? Because it is too close to home. Their stories have been more documented and romanticized than medieval battles of swords and spears.
And this article in Newsweek seriously activated my empathy gene.
War is ugly.
Sure the generals might be cackling over their triumphs, or their 'strategic victories'. But nothing will ever compare to the horror and the smell of gunpowder that literally clings to the air that are personally felt by the foot soldiers. Ever.
A soldier's life is a life based on numbers. A statistic added to the count of the survivors or the dead. Sure you get a medal, or an honorable funerable. Sure you have served your country or have done your part to preserve freedom and justice.
But is life meant to be lost this way?
Maybe half of the world could be saying yes. There is not better way or purpose than giving up your life for an ideal. Heck, I might be saying the same if a time comes that I must fight for what I protect.
And as we all know, the less you have, the harder you fight for it.
I read on at the article. Finished it, and made a mental note. No normal man in the world is born without fear. Yet these soldiers still join the fray holding fear in their hearts. Fear of death, and fear of agony.
But no man in that time in history would ever compare what it would be like to be a batallion surgeon who needs to be more alive than his fellow soldiers. Death and agony are things he must conquer in himself. In addition to conquering it for thirty others who need him. A burden indeed that will pale to what a million other people have in their lives right now.
Here's to the doctors without having to be in a place of war.
Lakbay Diwa: Ang Aga Ko Na Naman
Mga nakaraang buwan ... Enero, Pebrero, at pati itong Marso na hindi pa tapos, masasabi kong punung-puno ng kaganapan. Di baleng hindi lagi masaya, basta merong nangyayari ^_^
Kumbaga e, kaysa sa maging bored ako, i-torture nyo na lang ako XD
Hay. Ang aga ko na naman. At muli na naman ako nagiging mapagmuni. Muni-muni, yo! Muni-muni, yeah! Muni-muni, uhh! [sang to the tune of Money-money]
On the good side, tahimik na uli ang buhay ko. Pinili ko munang huwag makisalamuha sa mga nangyayari sa aking kapaligiran. Hindi ko na muna pipiliing masaktan [naks].
Dito muna ako, sa sentro ng mundo ko.
At pakikinggan ko muna ang tugtog ng buhay ko na matagal ko nang hindi pinakikinggan :)
It's the sound
I cannot live without
As the rhythm goes I'm sure
My soul will never pause
And the music keeps going on
It opens up my eyes
And the music keeps going on
Oh, one day I was blind ...
Weird ng word na kaluluwa no? Di mo alam kung ano yung rootword. Parang puede mo siyang sabihing ka-luluwa. As in, "luwa" yung rootword. May sense nga naman. Kasi matapos mong mamatay, iluluwa yung ispirito mo. Agri? Agri!
Pick-up niyo issue ng Newsweek :)
This week's issue is entitled Confucius 2.0
It seems like Beijing is getting back to the Confucian way of thinking which they have trashed and thrashed during the onslaught of communism. Some of the pundits say it's just merely an icing propagated by Hu Jintao, after becoming president in 2003. Not that I have anything much to say about that, but Confucianism is part of Chinese cultural history, communism was merely burying the sage in shallow soil.
Though ofcourse, such is the way of the world, back when the last czar of Russia got his ass handed back to him when they had their revolution [Anastacia, a movie made by Disney, is supposed to be the daughter of the last czar].
In a rad way of quoting Confucius, "Harmony -- lez just get along".
Ah, but harmony is a tricky thing to consolidate in a country that has too huge a gap between the rich and the poor. Not to mention ideals that span from traditionalism to contemporary thought.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Tula: Di Mo na Kailangan
- Pauline Schroeder
Di mo kailangang kumatok
Bukas pintuan ko
Di mo kailangang sumilip
Makikinig ako :)
Lalapit ako sa yo
Huwag ka mag-alala
Kahit ganyan ka pa
Di mo kailangang magsalita
Andiyan ka lang naman
Di mo kailangang mag-isip
Hulaan ko ang iyong nalalaman
Sana ganito na lang
Huwag kang kabahan
Sana makuha mo ito
Tula kong di lapastangan :)
To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken ... the only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers of love is Hell.
- C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
Lakbay Diwa: Ang Dalubhasa
Wala akong alala diyan, malaki tiwala ko diyan.
Shef. Yun ang sabi ng team leader ko tungkol sa kin habang kinakausap yung isa pang colleague.
Parang nagkaron na ako ng phobia sa mga taong nagtitiwala sa akin. Kasi naman, people don't have to be nice to me. Kailangan ko rin ng disiplina no. Why?
Simply put, I'm a loose cannon. I solve problems but I leave a path of destruction just to get at it.
Aminado akong arogante din ako kung minsan. That's why I chose to be a follower instead of a leader. And I chose to have teammates instead of being a solo performer. I believe it is better that way para ma-control ako.
Marunong naman siya ng C e.
Pffft, hahaha. If you caught me back in college as the psycho-geek my good friend, I am not only good in C, I breathe it. Professors tremble before my near-elemental knowledge of that language [Hello Sir Zurita!]. Well at least in Mapua I am [shempre, konting humility naman]. Heck, I have memorized each major and minor library functions most especially the graphics libraries which everyone else seems to fear. I even pepper it with Assembly for good measure. I've even delved into Watcom C, the stuff the pros use.
Shiz, I miss those days. And I lament the fact that I was not able to preserve my works for posterity. Damn it all. I'm an ex-geek :}
Been reading a book about Bill Gates, entitled The Barbarians Led by Bill Gates. Very fascinating take on the world of Microsoft, because it speaks about the inside workings of that company. No, Bill Gates didn't always make the good decisions, made some very bad ones. The thing is, he was good enough to sorround himself with smart people that he can listen to them.
What I envy here is that, he collects the really top-of-the-line people. Something I wish I am part of since I graduated. Ofcourse I had to be practical and sell my skills for the most general of needs. Specialization is risky, but if you get in the right market, you're settled for life.
O syet, baket English mode ako? Tagalog month nga pala ngayon. Hehe. Kzzzt!
Hurray for art! Riiiiight
Lakbay Diwa: Damit
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little to no effect to society.
- Mark Twain
Pasaway ako ngayong araw na to.
Lahat pala ng pampormal kong damit ay nagamit ko na kaya kinailangan kong maglaba kaninang umaga habang ang ipinangpasok ko ay -- business casual. Shempre may dala akong wind breaker pangtaklob sa suot ko.
Pansin ko lang, halos napupuno ko na ang closet sa condo na puro damit ko lang ang nakalagay. Shempre mga roommates ko ang tipid sa damit. Kelangan kong palitan na yung iba dahil hindi na babagay sa kin. Iuuwi ko na sa Cavite.
Kelangan ko pa ng polo, barong, at dalawa pang pantalon. Kailangan ko talaga ng shopping buddy :p kase basta nakita ko, hablot ko.
Dating monochrome gray ang wardrobe ko, ngayon ay makulay na :}
It was a night of pusoy dos, when all through the house
None of us was drinking, not even a mouse
The beach shorts were hung by the chair with care,
In hopes that a cute maid soon would be there;
The boys were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Cocomangas danced in their heads;
And Toto in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long Boracay nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
- based from Clement Moore's Poem *tee hee*>
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
The Chronicles of Bora: Imagine That
Just for fun guys. Heh heh heh ... sort of like Revenge of the Nerds, if you've seen that movie.
*listens to Jason Mraz's Geek in the Pink*
As of this moment Quentin has been receiving death threats from two unidentified men ...
Bits and Pieces of Moi: Me and My Love Story with Angels and Flying
Angel of God
My guardian dear
To whom His love
Entrusts me near
Ever this day
Be at my side
To light and guard
To rule and guide
Yun ang isa sa mga unang prayers na itinuro sa akin ni Mama. I think nakabaon na yan sa utak ko, at siguro kahit ulyanin na ko, hindi ko to makakalimutan.
Yeah, I have a thing about angels. Pansin niyo? Sige, tingin pa kayo sa kaliwa't kanan <-- --> taas baba ng blog na to /\ \/
I have named my personal guardian angel as Pauline. Nung bata kasi ako, nagkaron ako ng sakit na halos isang taon ako sa ospital. Sa mga panahong yun, yung great grandmother ko tinawag si Mama para kamustahin ako.
Lagi kasi niyang nasa isip ay ako.
At nung lumisan siya sa mundong ito, unti-unti daw akong gumaling at nakalabas na sa ospital. Ang pangalan niya? Paulina. Hindi ko na natatandaan ang kanyang mukha, ngunit meron akong na-scan na larawan niya kasama si Mama.
Incidentally, my female pen name is Pauline Schroeder. In memory of my great grandmother.
Yung pinsan ko, pinangalan niya yung panganay niyang anak dahil sa suggestion ko -- Angel. Sa pilya namang bata, ahaha!
Shempre, mga terms na ginagamit ko, seraphim, cherubim, etc ... related yang lahat na yan. Terms of endearment na hindi ko maaalis sa sarili ko.
Tsaka nga kaya ang lagi kong tato na henna tuwing nasa beach ako e pakpak. Parang statement ko na yun. Dati sa Puerto Galera, iisa lang yung pakpak ko XD Ngayon dalawa na siya
It's the sound I cannot live without, as the rhythm goes I'm sure, my soul will never pause
At kung mapapansin niyo, fans ako ng mga kantang may linya na related sa paglipad sa lyrics. Yung "I'm Like a Bird" ni Nelly Furtado, "Light and Shade" ni Fra Lippo Lippi tsaka yung "Flying Away" ni Moony na kelan ko lang narinig sa paraiso. Meron pang isang kanta, na saulado ko pa since highschool. The chorus went something like this:
Come with me to the sky, let us fly
Open up your wings and we shall go up high
Just believe that you and I we'll fly together
If we are one, we can fly beyond the sky ...
Minsan kinakanta ko pa rin yun. Medyo nakalimutan ko na nga lang yung first stanza ^_^
A Moment of Zen II: My true name roughly means Freedom of the World, and the first thing that comes to my mind about freedom is -- flying
Ano nga kaya? Kapag lilisan na ko sa mundong ito? Magkapakpak nga kaya ako? Shempre, mga matalinghagang katanungan yan na hindi kailangang seryosohin. Para lang yan sa mga mahilig managinip ng mga anghel at paglipad.
Kelan man, kahit ilang beses pa kong mabuhay sa mundong ito, di ko pa rin maiintindihan ang kagandahan na tulad ng araw na bumababa sa dagat. Siguro nga ang mga bagay na to di kailangang ramdamin. Basta hayaan mo lang.
In my Zen words, again I repeat: Don't feel. Just allow.
Kakanta ako. Masaya ako. Dahil kahit papano, may anghel ako. At may pakpak ako.
Lakbay Diwa: Talim ng Paningin
Pansin ko nga, matalim nga naman ako kung tumingin minsan.
Nalaman ko to nung tiningnan ko yung MTV ko ng Ulan [potek, halatang ninenerbyos ako nun at nasisintonado nyahaha].
Dahil na rin siguro maliit yung iris ng mata ko kumpara sa eyeball @_@ tapos kapag dinilat ko pa e talagang pati ako magugulantang kapag nakita ko sarili ko sa salamin at madilim ang gabi [think George Estregan Jr].
Pulutin mo ... ang sabon!
Siguro na rin kasi yung hugis ng mata ko e patulis din imbes na bilugan.
Totoo nga rin naman na nandidilim din pag-iisip ko, pero hanggang pag-iisip lang yun. Siguro isang libo't isang mura na nasabi ko kapag talagang ginagalit mo ko. Huwag kayo mag-alala, bihira lang yun talaga.
Minsan nga ako na yung inaabuso, talagang hindi pa rin ako papalag e. Kase alam mo yun? Walang tao man sa mundong ito ang totoong makakapagpahamak sa akin kundi sarili ko.
Gawa na rin siguro ng salamin ko kaya matalas ako kung makatingin. Kasi kapag wala yan, nakapungay lang mata ko e at parang laging inaantok [yata]. Ayoko namang mag-contact lens [hmm, subukan ko na nga kaya? gusto kong mag-shades e] at mas trip ko ang magsalamin na lang.
Tsaka naitatago ng salamin yung linya sa ilalim ng mata ko parang si Itachi Uchiha [pansin niyo nagsasalamin na rin siya ... er, matalim din siyang tumingin].
You stole my kamote. Now you die!
At least, marunong din ngumiti mata ko [weird pakinggan no?]. Dadalasan ko na siguro yun.
I think sabi ni Kalypso parang ganito daw ako -_-
Monday, March 13, 2006
The Chronicles of Bora: Let's Go Flying Away
No matter how many times I do it, I couldn't ever tire looking at the pics. The combination and designs are endless!
I wake up
I wash my face and go
Here's another day I'm sure
I fight for what I love
And the music keeps going on
My heart begins to beat
And the music keeps going on
Makes my life complete
I'm flying away ...
I'm flying away ...
Abstract and Random Thoughts: Ulan
I prayed for rain, but ... would I want it from a storm?
Nognog + Stolen Stickers
:: Bakit lagi na nga lang umuulan? O kaya, tanungin ko na lang siguro. Bakit ganito kung bumaha?
:: Grabe, anlakas talaga ng tama mo. Dumaplis ka lang, dugo kagad :'( Pigtal ang isang ugat ...
:: Paalam Tito Frankie. Mukhang dalawa na lang kaming Kiko sa pamilya. Wala na yung una. Sana po di niyo kami kalimutan dito. Mahal po namin kayo.
:: Nagmana nga ako sa nanay ko. Di siya sakit sa ulo nung bata. Samantalang mga tito ko ...
:: Sarap talaga umuwi. Kaso yokong tumagal. Tataba ako. Tsaka nagiging photophobic.
:: Isang dahilan kung bakit gusto ko pumunta ng US: to see my beshfren one last time. Tapos nun, lalayag na ko. Bahala na kung san mapunta.
:: Ermitanyo mode, ON
:: Praktis kanta. Praktis gitara. Tututugan kasi kita :') Makinig ka, para sa yo to
:: Sana tumigil muna ang pag-ulan ...
Poetry: Song to the Sunset Maiden
Have I been born alone amidst this void-like, careless world
To which I care not for, my life just arrived already sold
My vision is as cruel as the cold, sharp light of the stars
My chest contain a dead heart, a weight perpetually charred
Oh, but I have not seen the sun yet, have I my dearest?
Only now have I known you're the soulful warmth within my chest
But such is the cruel jest of fates, you're not to stay with me
The day dies down you have to fly away, while I taste this tragedy
Be with me my angel, even if your heart was never mine
Be with me my moon, even if it's not for me you'll shine
I am lost, a bringer of sorrow, I stain the ground with my tears
Let me fly beyond the sunset, and sing my love in your ears
The Chronicles of Bora: Sunsets Sunsets Sunsets
A Moment of Zen I: The Sunset and my Guitar
Don't Feel / Just Allow
Hiyaaaa! My nuts are tougher than yours!
Since hindi ko pa nagagawa ito, a million thanks to my fellow el hombres Toto and Karate Kid. Kung hindi dahil sa kanila, ay hindi ito magiging posible. Let's have more adventures guys. Onward soldiers!
Uunti-untiin ko yung mga pics. Baka kase maubusan ng bandwidth ang Photobucket =_-
Friday, March 10, 2006
Lakbay Diwa: Ang Daanang Madalang Tahakin
Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate.
Napaisip ako sa mga plano ko sa buhay. Meron na kong long-term na goals. Meron akong short-term. Ngayon, gusto ko yatang may mid-term. Hehe, parang exam.
Nasabi ko ang mga yan dahil sa epekto ng sinabi ng napakabuting kaibigan ko sa opisina.
"Pare, resign na ko may offer sa kin. Gusto mong sumama?"
Nang malaman ko yung offer, nagkaron ako ng isa pang dahilan para huwag nang mamalagi dito. Di gaya ng kaibigan ko, ginagawa niya to dahil pamilyado na siya -- may mga taong nangangailangan sa kanya. Ako, pinapayuhan na ni Mama na gumawa na ko ng hakbang para sa sarili ko.
Kaso kapag nagbitaw na ko, di na ko mag-iisip bumalik. Siguro nga masyado akong naging mabait. O siguro talagang easy-going ako. Whatever comes, sige lang ng sige. Mashado kase akong kampante sa sarili ko at alam kong di ako mawawalan ng offer. Kumbaga parang kahit anong pagpapapanget ko, pogi pa rin ako, nyahahaha [ubo ubo]. Siguro binatukan na ko ni bespren kung narinig niya sa kin yun.
Masasabi mo rin sigurong ako'y naging arogante.
Ayan, kumain kami sa McDo. Yung isa naming kaopisina mag-mi-migrate na sa New Zealand. Andami sigurong zeals dun. Zebra na seals.
Nakapula silang lahat. Weird.
Tanong nga ni Mina, "O dapat nakapula ka rin!"
Knowing me, ang banat ko e "Brip ko pula".
Ilang taon na rin nakalipas at ngayon lang ako nag-iisip ng ganito. Panahon na nga. Kailangan kong lumisan, sa paraan na kahit hindi personal na dahilan.
There are still opportunities yes, but I have outgrown this place. Okay na ko dito e, pero talagang dumadating sa tao yung kailangan mong ibahin ang mundong ginagalawan mo. Change is the only unchanging thing in this changing world. What a cliche. What a banal, trite, tiresome cliche.
Arogante na ko ignorante pa.
Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate
Translated, "Abandon all hope, all ye who enter here".
Iibahin ko na ang mundo ko.
Lakbay Diwa: The Closeness of Little Things
Minsan naiisip ko na ang problema ay lumalaki lang talaga depende kung pano ka tumingin sa mga ganyan. Natatawa nga ako sa sarili ko kase meron akong inimbentong salita kapag may problema ako. At ito yon:
Puede rin sigurong Shrink Ray, pero ito yung punto niyan: na ang lahat ng problema, sa tamang paningin, ay maliit lamang kung ikukumpara sa kabuuan ng mundo.
Case in point. Dati nung kolehiyo ako, may iniiyakan akong subject kase ayokong bumagsak. Er, actually nga naman gusto ko walang bagsak (sa Mapua pag wala kang bagsak, abnoy ka) kase may reputasyon ako e, hehe. Minsan lumalagpas ako sa bahay namin sa Cavite kase nakakalimutan kong pumara. Pano kase nakatingin ako sa kawalan sa bintana habang iniisip ko yung subject kong yun kahit wala na kong magagawa. Sori ha, perfectionist ako e, nyahaha.
Remember my word, "smallify". Kung titingnan mo lang, maliit na bagay lang yan kaysa sa naman isang taon akong mahuli sa graduation. Kayabangan ko kase, gusto kong kunin ng apat na taon at kalahati ang isang five year course.
Ako naman minsan sa karinderia nakakakita ng mga babaeng konting chip lang sa kuko nila, magtatatalak na na parang inalipusta ang byuti nila. Naknamputakti, buti nga kuko lang yan e! Kaliit-liit na bagay kinakalantari mo? Shempre di ko sasabihin yun at dun lang ako sa isang sulok, enjoy na lang sa tanghalian kong tortang talong.
Ayun. Gusto ko lang matandaan yung word na "smallify". Lahat ng problema lumilipas at kung hindi man, bibigyan ka ng oras para magkaron ng lakas ng loob para harapin ito. Isipin mo na lang, maliit yan kung ikukumpara mo sa kabuuan ng mundo.
Ah, kelangang kong sabihin yan sa sarili ko.
Pilipinas: Naiisip Mo Pa Ba?
"Cory should shut up. Arroyo should win the support of the military, purge disloyal officers ala Stalin, and start clamping down on the political chaos that has really shackled our country from progress. Sometimes I feel like Filipinos enjoy too much freedom, and very little discipline. It is almost like anarchy, and we need less freedoms for the sake of stability. There is always a tradeoff between personal freedom and state power. I think there is too much of the former and way to little of the latter. We have shown that as a people, we do not exercise our freedom responsibly."
- posted by gox, "What's Wrong with Cory?"
Sang-ayon sana ako sa sinasabi nitong si gox e. Na ang Pinoy ay mashadong protektado ang sarili nilang mga layunin at walang pakundangan sa ikabubuti ng lahat. Kumbaga, oo nga, alam natin na meron tayong ganung karapatan pero ano ba nagawa natin na masasabing ipinaglaban natin ito para sa bansa natin (sans Pacman).
Kaso dun rin ako nag-aalinlangan. Ano ba ang sukatan para masabi munang ang Pinoy ay mashadong maraming kalayaan na gawin ang gusto nila? Atsaka wala akong basehan para sukatin kung totoo nga na ang Pinoy ay kulang sa nasyonalismo. Kasi kung tutuusin, di ako marunong sumukat ng pag-iisip ng masa base lang sa mga balita sa dyaryo, o sa taong nasa paligid ko.
Ngayon, kaya nga lang ako sang-ayon kase madaling gawan ng simpleng analogy. Bigyan mo ng maluwang na palugit ang isang tao, aabusin niya yan. Gawin mong napakalimitado ang karapatan ng isang tao, magrerebelde yan. Lahat nga naman ng sobra masama, at hindi rin nga naman ganun kasimple ibalanse ang mga bagay-bagay.
O ano ngayon ang nagpapakumplikado? Dahil ang masa ay hindi isang simpleng tao. May kanya-kanyang pag-iisip yan at mga pinahahalagahan sa buhay. Isama mo pa ang uri ng kultura natin at mag-uumpisa nang sumakit ang ulo mo.
Kaya ang mga pulitiko na gustong maging sikat sa tao, kailangang matalino, o kung hindi man yun, malakas ang karisma. Kita mo kung bakit nanalo si Erap? Karisma lang yun. Saulado nga ni Imelda yang mentalidad na yan e -- na ang mamamayan gustong may nakikitang liwanag sa yo sa unang tingin pa lang.
E ano naman ngayon ang sinasabi nito tungkol sa ating Pinoy? Isa lang. Malayo pa tayo sa pagiging makabayan. Magkaron nga tayo ng patakaran para sa disiplina, gagawan naman ng paraan para takasan. Masasabi ba nating tayo ay mga oportunista sa maling dahilan? Sana hindi no?
Kung iisipin mo naman na magalit, kunwari, sa mga kotong cops, o sa mga abusado sa kalye, wala ring magagawa yun. Kumbaga walang na-re-resolba ang pagluha lang. Minsan naiisip ko, sapat na ba ang maging isang mabuting mamamayan lang? Kase, sa sarili ko lang, yun lang ang gusto kong gawin e. Siguro nga kaya hindi tayo umusbong sa pagiging tunay na makabayan. Kase, maliit lang ang gusto nating gawin. Kung meron man tayong gagawin, e para sa sarili lang natin. Wala nga namang masama dun, sinasabi ko lang :}
Ah, sana magkaron pa ko ng matimbang na opinyon. Aminado ako na Grade 1 pa lang ako sa ganitong bagay. Ang kaya ko lang e umintindi ng simpleng pahayag. O siya. Sana makapaglaro ako uli mamaya ng Devil May Cry 3. Ang saya e. Puyatan na naman ito!
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Lakbay Diwa: Film Director
Leche. Nahihirapan na rin akong mag-Tagalog [nyehehe]
At para maputol naman ang walang hanggang pananalita, eto isang larawan na puede niyong pagtawanan
Oo, ako yan at ang tatlo ko pang pinsan. Di ko alam kung ilang taon ako diyan. Siguro mga nuebe o diyes anyos. Mukha pa kong halimaw na manekin habang ang mga pinsan ko ay nagmamantekilya na mga kutis dahil mga nagbibinata't nagdadalaga na.
Malapit lang yan sa bahay namin sa Silang, Cavite. Di ko matandaan kung dyip nga namin yan o ano.
Ah oo nga pala, kaya nga pala Film Director ang pamagat ng akda na ito ay dahil iyon: nangangarap din akong mag-direk ng film (ay oo, Tinagalog ko lang) kahit maiikli lang o kaya e music video (nyahaha). Gusto ko rin sana maging aktor, kahit teatro man lang. Napanood ko kasi dati kung pano yung mga ganyan e. Sobrang nagustuhan ko.
Kaso alam mo na. Kelangan kong maging praktikal sa panahon ngayon, kaya inhinyero kinuha ko nung kolehiyo at hindi Fine Arts sa UP.
Weird ko rin talaga. Ika nga ng team leader ko dati, scientist/artist ako. Medyo incompatible na larangan ng kaalaman. Siguro dapat ipinanganak akong kambal. Kakailanganin ko pa ng isa o dalawa pang buhay para magawa mga gusto ko.
Basta, plano ko sa buhay ay maging dalubhasa sa IT, tapos nun, sa ko gagawin ang mga bagay na gusto ko talagang gawin. Siguro mga pasado kwarenta na ko nun.
Ngayon, kelangan ko munang magtrabaho. Kayod, kayod.
Lakbay Diwa: Ice Age 2
May sequel yung Ice Age! Hehe, para akong bata. Itong mga ganito pa rin ang hilig ko. Di nga naman nakakapagtaka kase puro anime ang gusto kong panoorin.
May pangarap pa nga pala akong maging isang anime/manga artist. Sa ngayon, tanim muna ng kamote. Kailangan ko munang maging stable (ng kabayo?) bago sa mga ganyang bagay. Di naman mawawala ang hilig kong yan e.
Dati may nabasa ako na yung alma mater kong Mapua ay nag-o-offer ng 2D animation course. Gusto ko siyempre, pero saka na muna. Dati nag-inquire ako ng 3D animation. Syet, ang mahal pa nun, Php 40k. Nag-aral na nga naman ako ng 3D Studio Max, tapos nung college, nag-aral pa ko ng AutoCAD.
Ang sisiw naman pala (yabaaang). Totoo! Ang talagang dapat na kailangan mo e, kung gano kalawak ang imahinasyon mo. Nakakapagod rin ang mag-imagine a. Ginawa ko dati yun nung sobrang wala akong magawa, nung nag-iimbento ako ng storya atsaka mga characters sa manga ko.
Grabe kakapagod nga naman. Parang na-drain palabas sa ilong mo yung utak mo. Kaya pala ang mga manunulat e, kailangang may binabasehang 'material' para sa storya nila. Sobrang nakakapagod ang gumawa ng fully original na storya.
Pero sa panahon ngayon, meron pa bang orihinal? Siguro mga 1% na lang, kase sa tinagal-tagal ng kasaysayan natin, halos lahat ng ginagawa natin ngayon binase sa isa pang storya, at kung hindi man yun, may nakaisip na nun! At kung hindi man yun, pinaghalu-halo na mga storya.
Yung dalawang blog ko na lalagyanan ng storya na iniimbento ko [tingin kayo sa link sa taas], matagal ko nang di nagagalaw. Yung isa fantasy fiction, at yung isa naman, close-to-real-life naman. Hay. Gusto ko uling magdagdag ng entrada.
Tsaka isa pa, gusto ko sanang matuto ng isa pang lenggwahe. Siguro Kastila o Mandarin. Sabi ng kaibigan ko mahirap daw Mandarin sa dami ng inflections at intonations, at kelangang na-pa-praktis sa bahay.
Nakupo. Patay ako sa departamentong iyan. Ni kausapin ko nga mga condomates ko di ko magawa e. As in bihis, kain, tutbrash, tulog lang ginagawa ko.
Gawan natin itong lahat ng paraan. Hmmmm *himas baba*
Lakbay Diwa: Bawal
Pati ba naman blog ko ni-block nila? Argh, kakatayin ko sila! At least puede pa kong mag-post. Di ko na nga lang makikita blog ko.
Hay. Unang banat pa lang sa araw na to reklamo na kagad ang tirada ko. Kung iisipin ko nga naman bihira akong magreklamo. Teka, alin ba mas bihira? Ang bihira o ang madalang? Kumbaga Tagalog ng 'rarely'.
Ngayong umaga ng namamalantsa ako ng polo kong pampasok sa opisina, nanonood ako ng MTV. Ang palabas e yung video ni Santana at Steve Tyler na 'Just Feel Better'.
Do I feel better now? Siguro.
Bigla akong napatingin. Naknangteteng, ang lolo na ni Steve Tyler nakikipagtukaan pa sa babae. E, well, puede nga naman niyang gawin yun. Kaso isipin mo yun, makipaghalikan ka ba naman dun e di sakop pati ilong mo sa laki ng bunganga. Kunsabagay, tingin ko mas pipiliin pa sa Steve Tyler ng babae kaysa naman kay ... Danny Glover ng Die Hard. Siguro yun parang suction cup yung dumikit sa nguso mo (sakop ilong).
Pansin ko lang, parang malungkot ako tuwing gumigising sa umaga. Tapos unti-unting nawawala habang tumatanghali. Okay naman sa ganun, ang iniisip ko lang e, bakit ako nalulungkot pa rin?
Ngayong mga araw na to parang lagi kong gustong pakinggan yung 'Much Has Been Said' ni Bamboo. Ang galing ng dating e. Parang smooth, habang pinakikinggan mo sa isang bar (na para namang pinupuntahan ko ng madalas). Actually katabi nga lang namin Sidebar sa El Pueblo.
May maganda nga naman akong maikekwento. Yung mga condomates ko nagdala ng PS2! Kahit hindi nga naman ako maglaro e halakhak pa rin ako sa katatawa.
Pano ba naman si Rommel kung humawak ng controller talagang kung saang lupalop niya itinuturo. Para namang maaapektuhan yung pagtakbo ni Dante (Devil May Cry), hahaha! Yun naiisip ko. Pano kaya kung gumawa sila ng gravity-based na controller? Yung tipong puede ngang maapektuhan ng paggalaw mo sa mismong controller ang character mo.
Hehe! Okay yun.
O siya. Ang daldal ko. Kain muna ako agahan. Mabuti na rin yung na-block ang blog ko. At least, walang distraction.
O di ba, looking at the better side of things?
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Kakatwa Nga Ba?
Hay ... hay, buhay ...
Hayayayay yan wahaha-yahay
Isang matandang lalake
Naging nobenta'y otcho
Nanalo sa lote
At namatay sa sumunod na araw
Isang maitim na langaw
Sa iyong [serbesa]
Isang patawad sa garote
Dalawang minutong hule
Di ba kakatwa?
Sa yong kasalan
Isang libreng sakay
Nang nakabayad ka na
Isang magandang payo
Na hindi mo kinuha
At sino nakakaalam
Si Totoy Lambot (?)
Hinakot ang kagamitan
Hinalikan ang mga mahal
Buong buhay niyang hinintay
Ang paglipad na ito
At nang bumagsak eroplano
Sabi niya, "OKAY TO!"
Di ba kakatwa?
Sa yong kasalan
Isang libreng sakay
Nang nakabayad ka na
Isang magandang payo
Na hindi mo kinuha
At sino nakakaalam
Nakakatuwang gugulatin ka
Kung kelan mabuti ang lahat
Kung kelan maayos ang lahat
At ang buhay
Nakakatawang tutulungan ka
Kung kelan lahat nagkalokoloko na
Trapik na nga
Kung kelan huli ka na
Kung kelan yosing-yosi ka na
Isang libong kutsara
Kutsilyo lang pala kelangan
Masalubong ang taong para sa yo
At malamang may asawa na
At di ba kakatwa?
Looking for a Goddess
[English mode] I have not heard from Kryx for a long time. I hope she's doing okay. Why am I mentioning her here?
Because I'm a big fan of hers. Used to have her songs in my Nokia 3300 even.
Multi-talented. Intelligent. Beautiful. I'm simply left in awe.
Wished things didn't go the way it did last time, but I guess I'm a firecracker. Sorry for that. Haven't concluded our Tekken fight though. Hah!
Here, have a sample of Your Love and the irresistible Sex and Candy. Girls with Guitars ROCK!
Oh yeah, that's why I memorized Your Love, it's because of her. You need Quicktime plug-in to play those songs on your browsers though. Get it you fools! [/English mode]
Larawang Kakaiba I
Di ko nga naman alam kung anong gagawin ko kapag nakakita ako ng asong tarantula
Baka nga naman aso siya ni Spiderman.
Ang alam ko, walang tatalo sa lahat ng salita sa mundo ng gagaya sa dalawang salitang ito. Oo nga, may "I love you" na kaya mong sabihin sa samu't saring paraan. Kahit di mo nga sabihin e, may paraan para sa tatlong salitang yaan. Tatlo? Haha, ang gastos naman sa salita.
Basta. Para sa akin, mas makapangyarihan ang sabihin yung "Mahal kita". Di ko lubos masabi kung bakit, pero siguro sa kadahilanang mas masasabi mo ito ng may damdamin, sa mga salitang tayo lang mga Pinoy ang kayang magsabi na parang langit na ang katapat o hihigit pa.
Ikaw? Kaya mo bang sabihin ito ng nakatingin sa mata ng yong minamahal at sabihin ng walang alinlangan at pagkukunwari? Ako? Sa totoo lang "I love you" gamit ko e, noon pa. Parang ang duwag no? Andami na kasing nagsasabi nito kaya parang gasgas na.
Pero ang "Mahal kita". Iba pa rin ang dating.
Mahal kita, alam mo ba?
Walang katuturan ang pagmamahal kung ikaw ay duwag. Oo nga, marami kang magagawa para sa mahal mo. Oo nga, kaya mo ngang buhayin ang tatlo pang pamilya. Pero kung di niya alam, wala rin yan no. Kahit na alam niya na mahal mo rin siya. Kumbaga parang patunay yan na may hugis yung nararamdaman mo. Mahal mo nga, pero ang akala niya turing kapatid. Saket di ba? Hehe!
Mahal kita, wala nang iba.
Nakupo, sa dinami-dami ng storya ng mga kerida at pangangaliwa na maririnig mo sa bading sa parlor, di ka pa ba maniniwala dito? Oo, kaming mga lalaki ang madalas na salarin sa ganitong klaseng pagkukulang. Sabihin natin na oo, lahat ng lalaki puro tonteng ang alam. Sabihin na natin na oo, ang katauhan ng lalaki ay magkaron ng maraming babae. Kaya swerte mo kung mas malaki ang kokote ng mahal mo kaysa sa yag-ba niya. Kasi pag ganun, alam mo kung saan napupunta ang dugo. Kung sa ulo napupunta yun, hatawin mo lang matatauhan na yan. Pero kung sa dalawang kulintang pumupunta dugo niyan, titiklop lang yan pero di matatauhan.
Hay nako. Basta, bahala na kayong mga babae na pumili. Kanya-kanyang desisyon rin yan e. Sino ba ako para manghusga di ba?
Mahal na mahal kita.
Oo na. Romantiko akong tao. Pinanganak akong ganun e. Dati nung bata pa ko, binibigyan ko ng gumamela ang nanay ko. Shempre pa, pinitas ko yun sa hardin ng kapitbahay na hindi alam kung bakit nanlalanta na yung halaman niya. Tanda ko pa noon e, iba't iba yung kulay ng gumamela. May dilaw, may pula, may puti. Sa totoo lang ang ganda ng bulaklak na yun. Simple, makulay, at mayumi. Wala nga lang bango. Yung sampaguita naman andaling malagas. Lalo na yung calachuchi.
Ako? Andami ko ring napagdaanan. Di rin nga naman ako matalino sa mga ganyang bagay e kase di rin ako ganun kadaling matuto. Ang alam ko lang ay darating ang panahon ko, na ako magsasabi niyan habang hawak ko mga kamay at nakatingin sa mata niya.
Mahal kita. Sa isang daan at walang dahilan.
Iyon! Gagawin ko yon!
Tagalog Month: At Isang Kaliwanagan
Napansin ko na iba ang lumalabas sa bibig ko kapag nag-Tatagalog ako. Kumbaga parang ibang personalidad o ibang uri ng pag-iisip. Kase kapag Ingles, lumalabas yung pagiging seryoso ko. Marahil ay naihahalintulad ko ang Ingles sa lenggwaheng ginagamit ng mga dalubhasa kaya iyon ang ginagamit ko.
Sasabihin ko na rin, tamad akong mag-pi-pindot sa keyboard ng maraming letra, kaya Ingles ang gamit ko. Atsaka ayokong gamitin ang salitang Filipino para tukuyin ang pambansang wika. Bakit? Dahil kahit anong kilatis gawin mo, Tagalog ang puno't dulo niyan.
Kaya mag-Tatagalog ako.
At ngayon, ibubunyag ko na hindi isang linggo ang itatagal nito, kundi isang buwan! Matagal ko na ring pinabayaan ang paggamit ng Tagalog (hah! Tagalog!). Kaya sa isang buong buwan ng Marso, ito ang gagamitin ko.
Gusto ko ring malaman sa eksperimentong ito kung hanggang saan ang kahihinatnan. Mag-iiba ba ang kulay ng aking paligid? Ang mga tula ko ba'y mag-iiba ng diwa?
Diyan ako nasisiyahan. Tingnan ko kung anong klaseng mga kataga ang mamumutawi sa aking labi kapag ganito ako magsalita.
Tama na muna ang Ingles. Pinoy ito. Walang kokontra!
Letter from A Fixture in the Sky Part III
Uhm. I'd like to put this here to remind me of things ^_^ like I said, this blog I intentionally make myself vulnerable.
Ahhh ... kwentong sawi nga. Hmm, have you already invested too much emotions and thoughts on this girl? Probably. Knowing how you tend to be so 'focused' on something you want, without really thinking of what's going to be in for you when all this is over (by over, it may mean everything fell into place, or - like in this case - everything fell apart).
Well dear friend, as cliche as it may sound, you will move on. The thing about loving is that you'll never really know when to stop doing it. You'll only be told that this hurts this time, and you'll say, "ayaw ko na nga." But the heart is incredibly resilient, to the point of being exasperatingly stubborn. Not long after, you'll find yourself willing to try loving again.
Loving and losing -- i liken them to circumcision. You know, it hurts like no one can ever point a finger to (literally and figuratively). But you endure it, you go through it. Because you have to. You wear skirts that would embarrass even your mom. But you wear them still because that helps ease your way through the healing process. You do something that's humbling, because you need to know that what makes you feel small is the very same thing that will teach you how to be a bigger man (no pun intended). You learn that it's not easy, but it's something you can cry over now, and smile about later. You'll own the moment because it's something you went through that not a single soul can ever say "I know how you feel." Don't let anyone tell you that they know better, because they're not the ones who chewed the guava leaves and survived.
Go through it, but don't live on it. Let it sink in, but don't let it drown you. Give it time, and you'll be alright.
Malay mo.. hindi talaga sya ang para sayo :) wag mo nang guluhin ang tadhana mo, may dahilan bakit hindi naging happy ending ang kwento nyo. Kung anuman ang dahilang yun, yun ang aabangan ko :)
(mag-tutbras ka kaya, baka sakaling magbago isip nya? nyehehehe!)
Di ka naman nakaranas ng pagtuli e, baket yun pa ginawa mong analogy? =_= Oi masarap din kahit papano ang ngumuya ng dahon ng bayabas a. Atsaka sus ku po, kahit naiisip ko pa rin yun, mahal ko pa rin ang buhay ko no.
At dun naman sa tadhana, alam mo naman ako, matigas ang ulo. Di naniniwalang may dahilan ang mga bagay bagay. Nagkakaron lang ng dahilan yan kung binibigyan mo ng dahilan. Pero totoo nga, mas mahirap manahimik ang saloobin kung di ka marunong magpaubaya ng mga bagay na wala kang kapangyarihang baguhin. Tigas talaga ulo ko e. Hehe. Hay.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Getting Jazzy with Norah Jones
Like a flower waiting to bloom
Like a light bulb in a dark room
I'm just sitting here waiting for you
To come on home and turn me on
Sometimes when I'm saturated with too much alternative, I like a welcome change with jazz, or some soul music. If jazz would be food, I think it'll be a nice, warm bowl of soup.
You just take it all in and let it flow through you. The smooth beat of the rhythmic percussions and let the vocals let out the emphasis and characterization of the song. The piano or strings weeping out sensually. Yeah, take it all in.
I could imagine being in a room with a jazz performer, warm and dim lights, perhaps enjoying some drink. I don't have to sing. Just sway to the rhythm and let the blues take over.
My glass is waiting for some fresh ice cubes
I'm just sitting here waiting for you
Come on home and turn me on
Turn me on ...
Flying Away Letter
I know you still come here.
I wake up
I wash my face and go
here's another day, I'm sure
I'll fight for what I love
And as to who you are, I'll be making this post as ambiguous as possible. If by chance, a word connects that it is indeed you I am referring to, then hat's off, maybe it is you I'm talking about here. Oh, but I'm sure there's a lot of you out there who can be hit by this letter.
and my music keeps going on
my heart begins to beat
and my music keeps going on
it makes my life complete
I know that you still read about my life even though I have shut me off from knowing about yours. I will not say what I'll feel when I do, but I'll make it as riddling as possible -- that even if it doesn't hurt anymore, I won't tell you. Was it years ago? Was it just a month ago? Or was it a week ago? Or have I just met you? I cannot tell.
I'm flying away, I'm flying away
I'm flying away, I'm flying away
It's okay to be silent. It's okay to just grace my life with your time and not letting me know about what you think. Though sometimes I wish you could still talk to me. I really do. I honestly really want you to.
Because you know what? I.will.understand.
It's the sound I cannot live without
as the rhytm goes, I'm sure
my soul will never pause
Here's to the what-could-have-beens. God, I think I'm collecting a lot of those the past years. And here's to what-will-be's. There I'll reside and sit on hope. Yeah, I can do that. I can really do that. I'm so good at it.
and my music keeps going on
it opens up my eyes
and my music keeps going on
'cause one day I was blind
Maybe someday I can ask you to dance with me. Let's dance on sunsets, and when it dies down, we can dance on the candlelight and moonlight. We don't have to care who's broken or whole. The beach music won't care whatever we are or whatever faults we have. Let's just dance to it.
I'm flying away, I'm flying away
I'm flying away, I'm flying away
It's going to be so cool.
I'm flying ...
I'm flying away
[song by Moony, entitled Flying Away, released 2003]
Tuesdays in Blue
I can't believe it myself.
I slept at about 4:00 pm and woke up 5:30 am the next day (today). That is some power nap. It feels like a sublimation of sorts, letting it all sink in.
I have something beside my bed -- a rainmaker I bought in paradise. Decided that this will be my stress reliever when I become restless at night. I think I'll go get a magnifying glass and decorate it some more. I remembered a brief period of time that my pen name was that, The Rainmaker, instead of Quentin Montejo. So I guess this will be some sort of reunion with my history. Yeah, I love the rain. Now I love the sun as well [see profile].
At the office, I took a good look at myself in the men's room under the fluorescent lights -- no peeling epidermis, just a weird gold-colored tint on my skin. Is this what they call a tan? There is the matter of me buying a tanning lotion instead of using sunblock. I didn't get burnt whatsoever nor did I have any burning sensations. Feels healthy though, wished I jogged this morning for a good sweat.
Yeah. Healthy is good, is it not?
Made me chuckle how I was spewing verbal insults left and right at my companions back in paradise (hey guys! nyahaha). Hehe, I wonder if they were secretly planning my demise along the way. Not that I can handle then if they suddenly decide to maul me. I can defend myself! Har!
Can't wait for the pictures. So many good shots there. Especially the artsy ones XD
Oh yeah, left my cellphone at the condo again today -_- I sometimes wish I can do away with that thing. It's so liberating to not have one [this is the hermit speaking again].
Monday, March 06, 2006
Sending Myself to the Sun
While the pictures are not yet in, these random, silly, nonsensical musings will do for now. Once I get them, this blog will load REAL slow.
Why are you here? on this earth?
I was a being up on the clouds. And when I gazed down upon the earth I ... fell in love with it. So I asked to be sent down and experience the most painful of mortal aches, and the most ecstatic of human emotions, both the ultimate price and the most coveted reward for being with a beloved.
So, why are you here?
Because my feet long for the earth. My eyes long for looking up to the sky. And my heart is left wanting.
Why are you here?
I am here because I am here. I am here to prove that I lived.
Then for that, you will no longer find heaven even if you look for it.
Done. You will never have your wings ever again. There is no redemption.
Came back from paradise.
The lights, the nights, the sunset, the sunrise, the music, my guitar, the dancing, the booze, the food, the beautiful, beautiful people.
If it was possible to breathe through my skin, I would have done so. I would've liked to take all of what my senses has seen, heard, and felt and make it a part of me.
Everything is the individual. The individual is everything.
It's only then I realized that the hardest person on me in this world was myself. I've never been good to myself nor was I ever forgiving. That is why I am a brooding individual, making pain last longer than it should have.
Oh, but that is another thing about me, isn't it? My mind has a bigger receptacle in holding pain than holding happiness. It's a blessing that I am given a mind that thinks too deeply often, but it's also a curse that I am not as receptive to knowing satisfaction when it is essentially there. I know the words to say what I need to, but deeply ingrained in me is that thing that makes it difficult for me ...
I am easy to please, but difficult to impress.
And upon seeing paradise, with a child-like anxiety I haven't felt in long time, I knew there is something "out there" for me that I don't need to look hard for.
Don't feel. Just allow.
If it was possible to drink music with my eyes, then I could have been drunk right there and then. The heavy scent of cologne in the air enhanced my already thought-laden mind with more questions and wanderings.
Paradise is a long walk from one place to another, enough distance to churn my mind while thinking. Perhaps in some destiny-shaping way, paradise was made for me.
The food in the place where we ate was divine. Humble but divine, unlike all those pricey restaurants at the beach front.
The warm-colored lanterns, the gentle noise of people and foreigners passing by to and fro, and the soft glow of the candle on our table was rightfully heralding a feast that really satisfied me, always making me go for second servings. And to give me a bit of euphoria afterwards, I have a bottle of Red Horse after each meal. Didn't know it was a good idea, so I'm remembering that. Gives me flushed cheeks too, which is always good for pictures.
Cocomanga has a unique setup. There's this huge basket-weave lantern above it that gives a warm, moth-attracting glow when lit up at night. And instead of the usual fare of acoustic performers, they have drum beats and indigenous instruments playing for a fire-breather.
Ah, but that wasn't the highlight of the night was it?
I wanted to fly.
Yeah, I want to be up there. I want to know what it is like to be above everything, and I mean everything.
And there I was. I saw the white beach of paradise from end to end. I saw the horizon. I saw how small big boats can be. I saw the colored lights beginning to ignite upon the call of sunset. I saw a million things.
And it made me dizzy, because of eyes that has too long been used for seeing things only a face away. The panorama of everything left me in awe, and at the same time, soothed my mind that's always being tortured.
If the balm for my mental pain is this, then I would never want to go down to earth again.
Then again, I've given up my wings to be with a beloved. I have already chosen to stay down there ...
I think the true bridge between heaven and earth, is ame, the rain.
What made it all so fitting on paradise was that we were singing Ulan. It was a funny affair that the charming ladies who graciously accepted our company were as song-hungry as we were. How I loved belting that song to the utmost.
Ofcourse, who was there to sing with wild abandon but me?
I followed it up with a lot of heart-mending songs I could muster without a songbook in hand with each instant I felt like blurting out a tune. The island hopping and the drinks at night wasn't at all boring as I thought it would be. Oh, how I would love to have serenaded and performed at one of those stage shows. I'll make it part of my dreams. Truly!
Still, everything was good. It was the life.
Definitely going back there. If things go real good, maybe twice more this year. I want to take the chance whenever I get.
Anything to justify that eerie, lingering feeling that this is the last year of my life.
For now, my other adventures await. Setting my mind to Palawan XD
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Sun in my Soul
I wish you to sense my presence.
To know that I am not somewhere "out there",
but just a dimension away.
Always interacting with you and infusing you with love and protection,
if you allow me to do so.
So for just a moment.
Close your eyes and see if you can sense the warm,
soothing flow of love that I am sending to you.
You may feel a tingling,
or a feeling of expansion,
or a mellow sense of well being,
but make no judgments.
"Be with me my angel, even if your heart was never mine
Be with me my moon, even if it's not for me you'll shine
I am lost, a bringer of sorrow, I stain the ground with my tears
Let me fly beyond the sunset, and sing my love in your ears"
- Q.Montejo, Song to the Sunset Maiden
This is my last entry for this week and for the most part of next week. I will go there for a lot of personal reasons. To laugh, even cry, and cherish life, love, and learning. It'll be fun, it'll be memorable, and I'll enjoy every minute of it.
And maybe, just maybe, I will again be at peace with the world.
Enough of the drama and let's par-tay!
The Ninja Bowel Movement
You will never catch me red handed using the office throne room. NEVER (but yeah, I use it).
If other people can casually talk about it and gloat at how glorious the whole time they're in there (must be some load, hehe), to me, the entire ordeal is both sacred and covert.
When I have a need to, I would pick up my kikoy kit (roll of tissue paper, handkerchief tissue paper, alcogels, etc.) along with an inconspicuous water container. I use that as a backup if ever I still feel 'unclean'.
I would casually approach the sinks, wait for everyone to leave the room and then quickly fill the water container. If somebody comes in at the most opportune moment, I would pretend that I am rummaging something really tiny in my kikoy kit -- say counting the number of tuffs of cloth on my towel (sort of like counting the blades of grass on a hill).
Once the coast is clear, I hurry to the corner throne and there I prepare some cleaning rituals.
Because you know, some caveman pee on it while the toilet seat is down. Like today. And by God, that guy MUST be having some kidney problems because the pee stains actually crystallized into salt.
I clean the toilet seat off and then proceed with the launch of the USS Enterprise.
I also take precautions like pulling my shoes way back so that nobody can recognize it by looking down the cubicle door and grin at me when I come back at the workstations. Remember, this is a covert operation. Nobody must know I did it.
So far I have a healthy digestive system, thanks to my regular intake of dietary fiber (prunes, oats, etc.). That is so I wouldn't be compared to some Beelzebub stinking up the place.
Just had a sleepless night. Since I couldn't sleep, I chatted with Joey, my roommate at 3:00 am.
The kid has an opinion about everything. And before we knew it, dawn was upon us.
Ate breakfast, did the laundry, then went to work.
And now my head is aching.
An Open Letter to My Brother
I remembered the day when mom was carrying you in her womb. I would place my ears on her tummy and feel you kicking inside.
Yeah, you were our miracle waiting to happen.
And then you came out to the world. You were different from me in many ways, and up until now I kid you as to which one of us was the mistaken baby in the hospital basinet. Unlike me, who was born with sleepy eyes and taking away from mom all of her illnesses and sorrow, you were born with big, bright eyes while mom was in her best health.
You were blessed with everything good. And up until then, I was still a sickly, weak child.
When I was made to baby sit you, I did everything to stop you from crying or from looking for mom when she's not around. I was there when you crawled around the wooden floor and stopping you from putting things in your mouth. I protected my treasured little toys that your hands would freely pick up and throw away. Your baby face was not fit for too much crying.
I was the one who heard your first word.
I remembered us watching the blue beyond from a bed beside our wide, airy window on the second floor of our home. I vividly remembered how many clouds there were in the sky. And imagined them to be the robots and spaceships we see in TV.
One day I came home from school and found out that you finally learned to walk. I was proud. Now you can begin running after me on the patio, while riding the wheeled sofa chair much to mom's dismay.
I remembered the time when you learned in one night how to ride a bicycle on the rough, cemented roads in BF Pilar which I had to learn in a month. Then I discovered, I have a really bad sense of balance. Everytime I ride a bike, I always have some scratch or bruise to take home.
Then you followed my footsteps as an honor student in our little barrio in elementary. You gained more gold medals than I had in my time. I believed you were better than me in every way. I was proud. You have imitated everything I did but better.
And so began our adventures in the coffee plantations, catching spiders and cicadas. Me telling you my knowledge of everything. All from the encyclopedias I loved reading back home. You were there, my personal fan. Eyes bright about the wonders of this piece of land way behind our home.
We were to conquer the world at the age of 12 and 5. We will be kings, you and I. And our castles are but a magnificent testament to our genius.
When you had your first fight, I was cheering for you. I wanted you to win what I cannot on my own with the class bullies. I was weak, you were strong.
You were following my footsteps still. Mom and dad wanted you to. But I didn't want you to.
Throughout highschool and college, I was witness to you struggling to keep up with me. I think I was running a bit too fast. You couldn't catch up with me can you? There was something in those eyes that say that you were tired.
But I kept going forward.
One day you left early from our home. You left a note on the fridge telling mom you love her. And on my cellphone you were asking for my help.
You got a girl pregnant.
Mom was heartbroken. Dad was angry. I was disappointed. You were to go far, that we all wished. But then again, I also wished that you did not have to follow me. This was to be for the best as it turned out.
We can no longer conquer the world it seems. Yet in our age when we can think for our own, we were still Hector and Paris.
I kept the family through hard times when dad had no job. And you had to continue college.
One day you called my cellphone. You were crying.
Our dear beloved father has raised his hand on you in his drunken delusions, complaining why mom has left our home. And I was the one you turned to. I was furious ofcourse. I was ready to go home and exact revenge. But it seems, between the two of us, you were more compassionate to dad than I'll ever be.
Brother, you are now your own king. You have to completely learn to depend on yourself now. I know you can do yourself the things you ask me to do, because the day you see me step in the door of our home is the time I know that you can no longer take it.
Be strong. Stand fast. I am still proud of you.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
The Chronicles of Bora: The Liar,The Snitch, and The Asshole
Di rin ako excited no? Hehe
Alright, we need to hoard a lot of beach music. Ize, stuff the iPod!!!!!
- Walking on Sunshine
- Ever After (er, hehe)
- Parokya songs
- Kamikaze songs
- Black Eyed Peas
- Tina Turner (LOL)
- Celine Dion (double LOL)
- Regine Velasquez (LOL LOL LOL)
*uhm ok, I behave now*
- Sleep All Day by Jason Mraz (hehe ... er, no)
- Spongecola songs (when we're drunk and angsty)
- *all songs applicable to drunk and angsty individuals*
- er ... just stuff it ...
Let's see if I can go beyond tenor and go alto. Hehehe.
Also, we need tanning lotion. Anyone has already? I need it to bake my pale ass. Well, not that I'll be exposing it to the sun, but ya know. They go topless, I go bottomless. Fair trade!
Wonder if it's a hassle to bring my guitar. Are we going to do a lot of moving around even at night?
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