The Terrible Writings of Quentin Montejo
Serial experiments on a fallen archangel who only wanted to regain just one wing back
Free of the World. Rain worshipper. Hermit. Tormented mind. Caged spirit. Defiant and eternal enemy of Destiny and Fate. Poet. Scientist. Artist. Daydreamer. He who laughs. Slacker. Sleeper. Romancer of wings and clouds. Fiercely independent. He who is ponderous. Games and anime junkie. Four eyes. Caveman. Nature-lover. He who doesn't think that hard. Non-smoker. Music-junkie. Counter of blessings. Guitar-hugger. He who simply wants what everybody else would like to be in this world and the next -- to be happy.
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
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Trip to Ilocos Sur
Last week I took vacation leave for three occasions: my brother's wedding, a town fiesta, and my niece's birthday.
Now ... being the ignoramus that I am I can no longer write details in my mind for the events, like our trip to Vigan, the taste of bagnet, the sumptuous food prepared for us, the sweet, placid life in Ilocos (which reflects much of our home in Cavite, but even a more laidback for that matter), and a lot of other niceties.
Also, it was there that I was able to eat lobsters the first time. Gods. I must have those again.
As for other things to tell you story seekers, yes my brother got married in an old church, complete with very old, very rich, and very powerful people around to give their blessings to the couple. Yes, my brother is seven years younger than I am, still unproven, and maybe lacking in wisdom, but then again, he's always been the little stromcloud who'd be willing to fight the fight. Which is always a good thing.
And as usual, all throughout I'm my goofy self trying to make something funny for the video cameras to record on tape (yeah, I took a footage of a dog's balls while inside the church). My brother's father-in-law who's the mayor of Ilocos Sur (does that make him my father-in-law too? or uncle-in-law? or none at all so I can call him by his first name :D) is a veritable figure of authority throughout, entertaining guests and being politic here and there, mentioning words like "Chavit", and "Singson", and ofcourse "millions".
Not that it has any effect on me (I am quite the hermit, my action word is "guitars" or "pc games" or maybe anything with a sexual innuendos).
The mayor's wife is a ... how should I say this ... his equal. I guess. She has this sort of eccentricity that makes you uneasy. And my best course of action is to just be in a place where I am with my people. My brother's wife's brothers (brothers-in-law?) are cool people nevertheless. One is a law student and the other, a rocker -- cool at guitars too, which always warm my heart.
Half of the time though, I am plainly bored. What, being always in front of the computer and all and then suddenly exposed to bright light can cause certain withdrawal symptoms. Mainly, the urgent desire to be once again in front of the computer.
What I did to ease away the boredom was to read the book I brought which is about the great economic thinkers: Karl Marx, Malthus, David Ricardo, Adam Smith, etc (to the average reader, mayhaps it is only Marx is the only one who rings a bell).
My reading pleasure was only disturbed one night when my auntie who came with us who has a third eye or something (or posessing some sort of paranormal pheromones) said she saw a kapre on the mango tree just beside the window in our room.
Goddamnit. That prevented me from sleeping that night. Eh well, I'll have more the coming days.
Ok. Enough of that. I'm going to watch some downloaded anime :D
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Poetry Entry: November 17
A Call Center in my Mind
- Q. Montejo
i wish for you to hear me say
from beyond all the miles and walls
that separate both hearts and homes
*i am thinking of you*
through endless wires and radio waves
running on telephone lines and satellites
you cannot hear me
because you are sorrounded by noise
the incessant words of people around you
and the pandemomium we call life
i only wish for all of it to be silent
even for a moment, or a second
just so you can hear me
make a little demand, a little favor
then i thought ...
if i ask you to hear me
then you have to glance away
from where you are going
this i cannot accept nor want
so you can just imagine me now
talking to you, asking for that little favor
but with my hand covering the mouthpiece
Friday, November 12, 2004
No other airplayed song has this much conviction in its lyrics so far ...
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
I knew it all along
and I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself ...
That people, is poetry incarnated beautifully
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Spongecola and a Poem of Mine
I think I've mused on this before, but me thinks one of the reasons I liked Lunes by Spongecola was because it goes in a way similarly and surreally to a very old, uh mush-like, poem of mine, Prom Night o_O
kahit hindi ako lumingon
nandyan ka, malapit sa akin
alam kong tinitingnan mo ako
at may nais kang sabihin
kinunwari kong di kita napapansin
para saktan ka ng kaunti
ngunit alam kong nakikita mo
ang lubos kong pagkukunwari
unti-unti lumapit ka
iniisip kung ano ang sasabihin
para namang hindi mo ko kilala
pakikingan kita, at diringgin
alam mo, minahal na rin kita
kahit na ganyan ka
siguro, hindi ko lang sinabi
para di ka sa 'kin umasa
hindi ko na rin ipagkakaila
na masaya ako pag kasama ka
nagustuhan ko ang ngiti mo e
saka ang tawa sa yong mukha
pero eto ka ngayon
nasa harap ko at nagmumuni
nagkwento ng kaunti
hanggang sa umabot ang gabi
ano ba talaga?
marami pa kong gagawin
kung titingnan mo lang ako
e ? di yun na lang tanawin
napatingala tayo, tapos, may bituin
nahulog sa dilim ng langit
nginitian mo ko ng 'yong mata
kinuha 'ng kamay ko ng pilit
"isang sayaw?", tanong ? sa 'kin
"sige na nga", dahil gusto ko rin
nalambing ako ng yong hiling
sinabayan ang kumpas ng tugtugin ...
Lunes by Spongecola
Sa saliw ng 'yong pagtingin
Ang oras ay...
Naghihintay na lang
Kasama ng ulan
At ayokong magising
Sa umagang nang-aakit mabuksan
Naninimtim, 'di alam
'Di mapigilan ang pag-ngiti
Paglaya mo'y minimithi
Nagyayaya nang makisayaw
Ang himig ay...
Sa ilalim ng bituin
Sa liwanag ng buwan
At ayokong magising
Sa umagang nang-aakit mabuksan
Naninimtim, 'di alam
Hindi ko sinasadya
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Guest Article: Musing#14: Reading
Foreword by Quentin: I got this article from a visitor (thanks Gen) to mine humble blog, and it kind of reflects how much I dream about the things I wanted to do myself (ofcourse, I will never think about being a mother and a whore and a mistress o_O). And well, right down to lying in bed and looking at the books and the sketchpads lying on my shelf in my room in Cavite.
The morning breeze is quite fresh on my window this morning. Sign that the coffee flowers will be blooming soon.
i have been reading to escape my own life. sometimes i’m an old traveler, a paraplegic, sometimes a mistress, other times mother, whore, lawyer, kid, most of the time, psycho. it’s just amazing how i can get away and take on other men's lives, how books can bring me to places i’ve never been. places i’ve been dying to visit, and even to spots i’d never want to go to like the underworld.
sometimes i lie in bed and just stare at those books stacked up on the shelf. and suddenly i hear voices, i see ghosts talking to me, telling me to stop and listen to the great teacher. as if each book is my own experience, some painful, some gratifying.
no matter how odd the ideas are, it’s great to know that with books i’m not alone. i am surrounded by words that tell who i am. why i feel what i feel. i travel halfway between life and dreaming, my own consciousness in someone else’s mind, taking me from gravity to levity, from mars to pluto, and on to my lover's arms.
i guess i’ll just keep on reading till i can’t read anymore, after all, it is saving my sanity.
Child in the Midst
On a past blog entry, I have written something about my cousin who died at 35. She left her kids orphaned, her husband had died not too long ago.
Now, mom took the youngest, a little lady named, Aira (Ira?) to our home.
Over dinner, dad was humorously telling me that I no longer need to marry to have kids because I can have one right now.
You know what the funny thing is? I was about to reply when I was surprised at the first thought in my mind -- I would've agreed to. Then I felt myself smirk and just continued finishing my dinner, pondering ... pondering.
Thursday, November 04, 2004
The One That Got Away
(Mata Hari): Feel free to erase if you don't like this one. Got it from a friend thru email ... ^_^
Quentin: Hell no, you are free to vandalize ^_^ let me just make it look neater. I would've been a proofreader or typeformatter in another life.
In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with ... and the one that got away. Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose. I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.
How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials become dealbreakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact. Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready.
It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will. So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter.
All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about. You'll think about them because you'll wonder,"What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life. If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens.
Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing. But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do if it's not yet too late? Simple...find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll always wonder, what if you got that one? Ask him/her out and say,
"Hey you, you're the one that almost got away."
Ending note by Quentin: Awww ^_^
Suntok sa Buwan by Session Road
I'm beginning to like this band like Spongecola (whose album I bought only recently btw). Ok, before this year ends, I'd get their CD and MYMP as well (she cute :D).
Suntok sa Buwan
- Session Road
Hindi mo ba alam
Damdamin ko'y pinagtakpan
Makasama ka'y suntok sa buwan
'Di mo nga alam
Mundo mo nga'y iyong tignan
Kung ganyan, walang pupuntahan
Hindi ko 'to gusto
Pero 'wag kang lalayo
Itanong mo sa akin
At tatanungin ko rin
Kung ika'y aamin
Lahat ay gagawin
'Di mo napapansin
Kailangan mo akong dinggin
'Di habang buhay ika'y aantayin
Ito'y aking hiling
At sana naman ay tanggapin
Ng puso ko'y 'di nabibitin
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Solution to Gloom
I have thought about it once. To take off gloominess, you ease somebody else's.
Hmm. Not a bad idea. But I am very lazy right now :D Time for PEx.
Light Out of the Gloom
Tonight I'd get to hear two cheerful friends text me.
Somehow that took my gloom away. One, a playful lass who maybe likes teasing people every chance she gets (wonder if she realizes I'm immune) and the other told me a story how her date went -- with a geek :D
Now that was pretty interesting. Albeit I'm wondering if she is gritting her teeth for telling me and asking me if it was ok for her to behave the way she did. If you ask me, it's always safer to act what is natural of you than to begin a long story of pretensions o_O
Though there is such a thing as tact, if you know what I mean.
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