The Terrible Writings of Quentin Montejo
Serial experiments on a fallen archangel who only wanted to regain just one wing back
Just learned a lot about photography the past couple of days. Been taking in a lot of information like a sponge.

Still fussing about a lot of questions about several stuff. But hey, it feels good to geek about something new. It's been so long since I stooped my head on anything except games.

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A scene from Witch Hunter Robin

Went home late last night with an officemate who bought a Canon S3 IS (the yummier one, which I get to play with this morning). I was in Shangri-la experimenting with ISOs, apertures, and shutter speeds on a large Christmas tree when a mall guard approached me and said that such an act is forbidden unless you shoot it only as a background.

Feh, what an idiotic policy. Went home instead.
Photojuice: Kyuubi
Well, I got a new camera for Christmas -- it's an Olympus SD-510 UZ. It actually didn't get good reviews, but when you have a ceiling budget, it's as good as it gets :D

So in the incoming posts, I'll be making this a photoblog of sorts. Pictures + Terrible Writings. Hmm, I need a new title for my blog.

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This is NT, our painfully playful cat.
Christmas: A Solemn Walk
You wait, wanting this world
To let you in
And you stand there
A frozen light
In dark and empty streets
You smile hiding behind
A God-given face
But I know you're so much more
Everything they ignore
Is all that I need to believe

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This is mum and dad

You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in

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Our local chapel

I wish
Wishing for you to find your way
And I'll hold on for all you need
That's all we need to say
I'll take my chances while
You take your time with
This game you play
But I can't control your soul
You need to let me know
You leaving or you gonna stay

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View of our sala to the kitchen. Notice the different lighting.

You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in

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Mom's cat figurines.

There's nothing we can do about
The things we have to do without
The only way to feel again
Is let love in

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View of our backyard. No fresher air :)

There's nothing we can do about
The things we have to live without
The only way to see again
Is let love in

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The lights I see before I sleep.

You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in

- Let Love In by the Goo Goo Dolls
Christmas Thoughts: Marunong na Ako :)
Merong nag regalo sa kin Virgin Coconut Oil.

Ngayon di ko alam kung matutuwa ako o ihahampas ko yung bote sa ulo nya (in the kindest way possible, Pasko e).

Sa ibang balita, hulaan nyo kung san ko tina-type itong entrada na to sa blog na to --- sirit? Opo, nasa opis po ako. Alam nyo ba kung ano nasa isip ko? Opo, tama kayo ... magtatrabaho na naman ako kahit walang pumipilit sa kin.

Yan na nga ba sinasabi ko e. Pero siguro ngayong Pasko, magiging mabait ako sa sarili ko. Aalis ako kagad, hehe!

Tapusin ko lang to ...
Fu Fu Fu
Time for a new blog design soon.
Rant before Pasku <-- Kausap ko po Sarili ko
Leche, di ako makakapunta ng DBAA.

Baket naman kase umaga pa yun, argh. Leche talaga! (leche is espanyol for milk, oooo) Dami ko lang talaga trabaho. Di lang yun, di ko alam kung pano ko isisiksik ang mga bagay na dapat kong gawin pa. Hay grabe.

Di naman ako stressed. Hehe, totoo! Masaya ako dahil sa wakas ginagawa ko ang gusto ko. Di nga lang tatama sa deadline (aka, ang aking kamatayan next week). Hindi talaga aabot :( Kahit anong pilit ko pa o kung sakaling tumalino ako bigla at maging henyo.

Hay. Tatlong buwan. Yun pa lang naipapamalagi ko sa bagong kumpanya ko pero parang dumaan ako ng tatlong taon. Lalo nang nauupod ang noo ko hahaha (oi ha, di pa ko nakakalbo). Pero oo nga, dami ko na daw puting buhok sa kunsumisyon. Pero kung tutuusin, di naman talaga ako piga ng talagang pigang piga pa. Ambait kase ng project manager ko e, tapos marami akong magagaling na kasama sa trabaho.

Gusto ko lang sana mapraktis makausap yung mga major leagues. Hirap nga naman kung ubos na ingles mo tapos puro pa kabobohan pumapasok sa isip ko ahaha.

Uy, pansin ko nga. Magkaiba personalidad ko kapag ingles gamit ko kesa sa tagalog.

Pero anyhoink, balik sa pagrereklamo. Ayun, ilang araw Pasko na. Tingin ko tahimik na pagtitipon uli to sa bahay. Di na kasi talaga magiging maingay dun. Di ko alam kung saan mag-papasko si kapatid. Siguro sa amin naman. Tapos balak ko pang umalis kagad ng abentesingko. Adik ako no?

Ewan ko ba. Ganito talaga ako, parang laging may gustong gawin. Focus kumbaga. Pero di rin naman at panay ang pag-daydream heheh. Kasi ba naman kahit pagpikit ko puro RAN Online ang nakikita ko sa likod ng talukap ng aking mga mata. Adik talaga ako, adiiiiiiik.

Meron akong maling nagawa sa buhay ko ngayon taon. Pano ba sasabihin to. Ang gago gago ko kase. Argh. Yoko banggitin hehe. Gusto ko lang ipaalam sa sarili ko na meron akong bagay na hindi kayang unawaan. Basta. Ewan.

Iligpit ko na lang kalat ko at ilipat ang pahina ng papel ng aklat ng buhay ko. Yebah! Kung sana lang e di ako makakalimutin.

At ano yung dapat kong di kalimutan? Mga naging biyaya ko. Minsan kase talagang sa sobrang tutok ko sa bumabagabag sa kin di ko na naiisip gawin yun. Lahat naman tayo nakakalimot e. Tsaka yung mga biyaya natin parang minamaliit natin. Ayoko namang umabot sa puntong may mawala sa kanila tapos dun ko lang malalaman ang halaga.

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Parang ganito ko pinahihirapan sarili ko ngayong taon

O siya, next week gagawa ako ng paraan para matapos ang taon na ito ng ayos. O kahit maging memorable man lang.
Christmas Thoughts / Random Pictures: Ever So Near
I am waiting for something.

I know it's just there, but I don't know how to get it. I am doing something but, my instincts say, "wait a little more". Wait. A serene sense of calm has come to me these past days. Yeah I still have tons to do, but I no longer feel like a stress ball.

My death is coming middle of next week, and for certain, I can do nothing about it. Yet in a way, it's okay. It's alright. I know that I will still carry on despite my limitations.

And then, that something ...

It drives me ya'know? That if I get it, the rest is all planned and I don't have to fret anymore. It took a while for me to make up my mind about it. And even if it doesn't come to me, it's still okay. It's alright.

"Don't get ahead of yourself", a voice in my mind is saying. "Maintain the pace, do not skin your knees". Then another voice would be saying "Okay, okay". And pretty soon, other voices would come chiming in and I'd be a good candidate for some serious psychotherapy.

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Evil voices, nooooooooooo


Met up with my ex-team leader this day's lunch (oi Anne, sayang wala ka). I sooo missed that woman. Back in the days at Aboitiz, we had gone through a lot of trials, tribulations, sleepless nights, and weekend overtimes. It's good to know you have people by your side when the worst comes to pass. I mean, personally, I don't rely on anyone when I'm getting battered at work.

I dunno what would've happened to me if not for her. I probably would have a few years of my life shaved because of the stress. Her presence has a calming effect in the office (but stresses me out when me and the guys were secretly playing Starcraft haha!).

Anyway, would've love to work with her again if ever we get a stint in the US. She still remembers how I love eating pasta. I'm just glad she's here ^_^ hugged her goodbye before we came back to the office.

There's another woman I miss too, but I don't think I'll ever see her anytime soon. Wonder how she's doing =_= I think I'll squeeze her to death if I see her (considering she's sort of fragile ... I'll do it anyway haha)

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I see you, you see me


Darn, I have so many pics on my phone that I wanted to post. Ever since I moved out of my last company, I haven't gone to uploading them in photobucket. Lots of interesting stuff.

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Christmas Thoughts: Flickering Candles
And I thought I had a black heart.

This morning I took a glance at the tabloids. And as usual, no news that really interest me much. Perhaps I've become desensitized as to the state our country is in. Or the inexhaustible front page issues about disasters, politics, and people dying.

But one tabloid has a picture of a man, dead on a street. Not murdered, but died out of cold and sickness. Also in the picture is a man passing by looking disinterested. Then it just came to me -- people should never ever be left alone to die ... ever. That has to be one of the most tragic thing to occur to any person. I know that dignity and honor are emotional constructs of man, but then, man existed with those for a reason.

I saw myself on that passing man. True, I have little love for material things in this world. And I refuse to have cares that I really don't need or ask for. Bu that also shows how I am disinterested with people who really don't affect me at all. Yet in some small way, there's that flicker -- to reach out, and hold a hand that is beaten by a cruel fate.

Bah, what am I thinking. Need to put this off because I have to work =_=
When All You Have Left is Time
It might take one year to forget the loss of a loved one
Nine months is what it takes to bring a human life into this world
Six months is what it takes to be worthy for a permanent position in a job
A season would've changed in only three months
One month, and the moon has already circled our planet

Yet in a day, a person can still miss a lot of things
In one hour you can know a lot about a person's life
A minute is all it takes to realize what you should have done before
And in a second, lives can change with only an utterance of a word

And I'm writing all of this because I'm practically bored.
Christmas Thoughts: Penny
According to history, Juan Luna, one of our great Filipino painters, once went to a restaurant in Madrid with a friend. While he waited for the waiter to return with the bill, he painted an image of a Spanish coin on a tissue paper.

The manager, so impressed with Juan's work, didn't make them pay.

Reminds me that if we are as sincere in what we say, it can hold as much value as what we do. So, say as much kind words as you can today -- and mean it, damn it.

Fotek kaya ko rin yun, lapis lang ibigay nyo sa kin, and I will make kiskis to the tissue paper. Btw, for those who don't know anything about Filipino history (and I pity you dearly), Juan Luna painted the Spolarium, quite impressive work.
A Week Before Christmas, A Week and a Half Before My Death
I feel really good today. Hopefully it'll last til the end of the week.

DBAA is just around the corner. I really, really hope work doesn't get in the way. I've been in the office the whole weekend trying to make something work and achieving something significant. But ... as such things go, the worst that could happen is that you learn something new :D

Anyway, had exchange gifts last weekend with the old gang (they're really sweet people). Perhaps they're the most neglected circle of friends this year, but as it goes, so long as you're good to me, I'll be good to you for as long as it takes. It's kind of sad that things happen. Sigh. I mean truly, I'm really grateful they're around, and ya know =_=

But hey, it's Christmas. Let's put aside animosity and put our attention to more important things, like say, making me rich :D They're all good to me but unfortunately, I'm not good to them, hehe, I'm such a user. Don't they know I'm the one behind the scene plotting things and making them bite each other's throats?

Yes, it's true!

It's my way showing love *hides horns and tail*

Anyway, back to work. Better make full use of the good vibes.

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Been recycling my photobucket stuff. Merry Christmas! :)
Un-gothic Thoughts
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And on the other side of the spectrum is Un-goth Quentin. Is there such a thing?
Gothic Thoughts
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Does it?

Looks like my multi-sided personality isn't that easy to merge. And so, Goth Quentin is born.
Wish List
Here is my Christmas wish list




Peace to all mankind. Weee ... oink.

Which reminds me. I think I gave my project manager a meme. We were chatting on Skype because we're about to join a conference with some guys in Sydney. When all of a sudden, I typed ...


Why? I dunno, it sounded funny after being so serious about all that project estimates and stuff. And now, whenever she approaches me at my desk she sometimes say "goat". I know she has a sense of humor apart from always looking like a koreanovela actress, but I'm not sure if I should chuckle or behave =.=

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Hmm, wonder if somebody'll give me this for Christmas. It'll rock in bbq parties.
Romancing the Stars!
Photobucket - Video and Image HostingLet's look at the stars tonight
Find the constellations that make up our names
And carve the clouds so it looks like ice cream puffs
Let's stop thinking too much about how and why we're not there yet
Let's start thinking here is now, and tomorrow can worry about itself
We're free to roam that three thousand mile highway
We'll take that joy ride that means nothing and everything!
Strum that guitar, sing the silliest songs we can think of
Let's make up the lyrics of parts we don't remember
And laugh heartily for absolutely no reason at all
Before you know it, we've circled the planet three times
Let's make it fun to be lost! Because we have incentives to explore
When it rains, we'll drink the drops like it's the sweetest wine
Run around shouting our lungs out like we own the world
And when we catch our breaths, let's write this insane poetry
On a cardboard paper we'll put in a bottle and throw it to sea

Finally, when our muscles ache, we'll quietly wait for the dawn
As we watch the bonfire grow from a rage into quiet, gentle embers
Then let the sun find our faces and hear it say, "You've done a good job being happy"

- Q. Montejo
Itty-Bitty Bits of Nitty
- My mind is at war again. It will never stop. Nothing new :D
- Even weekends are busy. And it's the holiday season.
- Didn't take any leaves this December.
- Got new wounds and scratches from playing with NT last night. Wonder if I've become masochistic?
- I have less than two weeks left before I die. I wonder if dying would be painful. Will it be a slow, agonizing death? We'll see ...
- Don't think I have significant weight gain as of yet.
- Need a haircut.
- I feel so ineffective. I look at the calendar and I felt I need to do things better. Plan better.
- There is something I have to give up to initiate a change. Should I, or should I not? That is the question.
- Had Krispy Kreme for our tea time today. It's sweet and delicious. Unfortunately, I'm not a fan of sweet. Gives me tonsillitis. Psychosomatic even.
- I still haven't seen a lot of the people I missed. I know I'm getting old when I get these kinds of thoughts. Back when I was younger, I'd go like, "To hell wit them! Muhaha!". Sigh, hehe.
- They say adults smile lesser than children. That certainly is true.
- I think I want to move out -- again. This time, it'll be my own, personal place. I want a kitchen of my own.
- Damn, I haven't gotten a new laptop yet. I don't have a credit card btw. So if I'll buy one, I'd be bringing a thick wad of money to the counter, lolz.
- Which reminds me, I haven't retrieved my separation pay.
- Gonna meet up with the gang tonight. Won't be long though. Wouldn't want to get drunk again hehehe. Have to work tomorrow.
- I'm in a state of floating.

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The Chemistry Factor
I believe there is such a thing as getting comfortable at first sight.

It's when you only just met this person and you could just talk to that person like you've known them all your life -- you're simply open when you'd normally wouldn't be.

Yun bang tipong di ka nahihirapan?

Realized that me and one of my friends were that way. As in I've never really talked to her before, but when I did, a steady stream of jokes, insults (my signature), and opinions just flowed out with no inhibitions and the same way happened to her.

I dunno, I think it's one of the things that complicate us humans.
The Bin is Bland!
Right now, I have so much nothingness in my head.

Cool o_O
I Might Be Growing Monsters Under My Bed
While cleaning the code I'm doing, it suddenly occured to me that even though I am doing my laundry, I have utterly neglected cleaning my room.

Que Horror!

*sung to the tune of Nanghihinayang by South Border*

Nanlilimahid ang kwarto ko
Isang taong walang linisan ...

I think the last guy who scrubbed the floor is Joey in his most industrious streak ever (which happens only once a year). There's also the matter about my vacuum cleaner. I think I used it only once after I bought it. Only succeeded in dispersing the dust in our room because I forgot to put in the filter.
Honey and Clover
"When I was younger, I used to ride my blue bicycle
And wonder how far I could ride without turning back ..."

Late last night, I was watching Honey and Clover, an anime that I'm not clear as to what is it about but it somehow, somehow reminds me of this blog of mine.

Yeah, it's a bit cutesy, but it somehow echoes how I muse about my life. And how I've written it all here.

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It's as if I'm still reliving a "I dunno why I'm here, I dunno why I should be" phase like Takamoto has been doing. And yeah, I did entertain thoughts of going away, somewhere really really far by myself, a self-discovering journey so to speak (actually thinking about Bangkok or Sagada).

But in this place and time, I can't afford such luxury. I have a job to do, people who depend on me, and well, I'm already tired enough as it is.

"In life we have two choices. It's either we keep trying or we just give up. There is a third choice but life is so much easier if you only have two."

God knows I've done both part of the deal. And how much I've already made it complicated with only two.

So, here's to me. Let's make it simple :)
Of Christmas Parties and the End of the Year
Had our Christmas Party last night at the Hard Rock Cafe, Glorietta.

I came in late because I slept at 6pm and woke up past 8 (weird of me huh?). Went home a bit tipsy and carried a lot of gifts.

One of them is a juicer. o_O

I would think only my body builder roommates would have use for this. They like drinking all sorts of stuff. Ah but anyway ...

(pictures will come soon -- expect the usual shenannigans)


When I came into the middle of this year, I had all the time in the world.

Life for me was easy.

Now that 2006 is about to end, the only thing in my mind is that I wish didn't have to sleep. There's a lot of things I want/must do, both in work and some personal stuff.
Musings on a Saturday ... Shh
I don't think I can ever put everything here in this blog.

This place is too little to contain my grand perspective of life. Too pristine to ever bear witness to the myriad sins I have committed to humanity. BUT, here's something I'll try right now. A personal entry about moi (like, I haven't been doing that). Yes, I'm fearless.

I'd like to put into the table a really bad trait of mine -- stubborness. In the extreme o_O

Let me put in a related analogy.

One night, I was putting NT to sleep (our pet cat). Oh a little trivia, researchers say that stroking cats reduce stress. But anyway, as I was saying, I was putting the kitten-cat to sleep but only succeeded in putting her in a state of loud purr-ness (you know, that audible krr krr krr krr sound?). As I was rubbing her tummy, she suddenly rose to bite and claw me.

Ofcourse, since I have high pain tolerance, I was just looking at my skin getting scratched, poked, until my right hand got all this criss-cross swollen marks -- and I still continued rubbing her tummy. It came to a point that her canine teeth and frontal claws are in so deep that I began clenching my teeth. And I still continued rubbing her tummy.

All I wanted was to rub her fluffy, furry tummy because that's what I wanted, regardless if it will do me harm.

Unfortunately, that analogy doesn't stay with cats and tummy rubbing. And well, that has always been my downfall. I have a life that revolves around wanting only one thing and try and get it even if it takes away everything else. Even if, the sanest part of my mind is saying "Stop it", I just can't help but go on. I'm wired that way.

Cue in Everything by Lifehouse.

So you see, adding to that, it also caused me to have a difficult time letting go. So, for the past years, it has always been chapters of notable experiences, alternated with chapters of isolation. That isolation, or hermit periods, are times when I don't want anyone else frolicking into my life. Oh, I do look out the window every once in a while. And I do, look for people ^_^

Fortunately, my stubborness don't show its ugly head all the time. More like half the time, so there's a respite there. Maybe I'm getting wiser, or getting the hang of it, who knows.

So you see, I have always been afraid of that trait of mine, thus I ignore it, pretend it's nothing. And that has mainly caused me to wall everyone up. However, I am thankful that I am put in a place where there ARE good people around. People who don't mind someone like me insulting them everyday and making a mess of everything (hehe) and still continue giving me gifts for Christmas *wink* *wink* *kindat* *kirat* *ha-tching*

However stubborness, can also mean perseverance. The good side of the coin.


In other, more cheerful news, here's a pic of the Podium lunch with Gran and the guys last Sunday.

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PJ, Nikki, Chuck, and Nadja / Gran, Liza, Me -- Since we have two sweet couples in front of us, Gran couldn't help but take the lower right picture, much to Liza's apparent disgust of having to be beside a cave man (lol).

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Who are They?
Looked these up, just for tripping, haha. Peace Caenden!


Thanks to Jooz-man for the mp3 hehe, was too lazy to look them up.
What Classic Movie Are You?

I rememberd back in college that my friends watched it simply because boobs were shown. >:D
What Kind of Leader Are You?
Ladies and gents, time for that once-in-a-rare-while stuff I do to my blog -- take quizzes o_O this one came from Adrian's

Cool, I'm JFK :}
Talked with the company chairman (actually I dunno what position he has). I don't even know if he's British as I really don't care ~_~

It certainly gave me a different perspective about my work. I mean, when you begin to think that you're a part of something that will compete with other multi-million dollar companies, you certainly will look at things in a grander perspective.

My only fear is that we're growing too fast, and we might bite off more than we could chew. I certainly have a long ways to go to be able to competent in my field. The Sydney guys are at least 3x of my current capacity. I'm not sure if they even do anything for fun ~_~

Anyway, back to Mr. Chairman. All I could say to him was that there needs to be a little more fun in the workplace. Heheh. Sigh. I'm bonked.

Ah well. Time to work harder.
Tidbitty Thoughts: Do Bee Doo
This morning's stand up meeting with the team I was biting my nails while looking at Irene. It's because I committed to finishing a deadly deadline and I haven't accomplished it yet ~_~ uh-oh. I tried my hardest, but in all honesty, I am not at my best ~_~ I miss the old me.


It sounds embarassing, but I am banging my ears with mp3s of ... Kelly Clarkson. Her angsty voice goes well with my system. I've noticed too that she sounds like a Westernized, broad-ranged (vocally) Aegis. Yeap, you heard me. The local band that brought you songs like Luha and other really gut-wrenching songs.


Ah December. All I can remember of December last year was the beer-drinking sprees and chasing after cherubim. Now that I think about it now, I feel like I was the silliest, most idiotic person on earth. But what the heck, we all go through things like that *tee hee*

I think I've made poem after poem after poem just for her. Followed by rollercoaster blog entries. Next time I'll do it alcohol-free, haha! Maybe it'll be an improvement.


Going on a 1-on-1 interview with John. Eek. What do I say?


I always get a kick out of my insurance agent. She gave me a calendar that I'm still using now. Why do I get a kick? Because her name is ... Joyce Jimenez ~_~


I have an interesting theory. I think there is such a thing as a language personality. Why? When I speak in English, I almost always sound serious and cold.

Hindi naman ako talaga ganun e.

When I speak Tagalog, lumalabas yung pagka-lokoloko ko. That's because I'm an advocate of carino brutal ^_^ But when I do that in English, I sound like an insensitive prick. Ah well.


In other news, the Bora trip is booked! Now all that is left is the man-figure. Will I be able to grow abs in two months? Let the impossible dream begin ...
The only song I've ever heard from them is their rendition of "Kabilugan ng Buwan" originally by APO.

And might I say, I love that low, sexy/seductive voice. Feels like drinking a thick, hot cup of coco on a cold, foggy, rainy day (sorry, it sounds pyschedelic). I'm too lazy to know what sort of music they play, and it really makes me curious as to how that low, sexy/seductive voice is being used.

But that doesn't stop me from listening to curiously named bands ^^
Poetry: Wilderness
- Q.Montejo

It's been so long since I made a poem. Only 10% of them are actually made with art in mind. This one I made out of romancing a personal demon -- which is the fear of oblivion. Sounds like my teen years but hey, it just came out my head.

This city is a wilderness of smoke
Where love is lost and light is choked
I've lost my mind once so clear
To mortal ghosts that feed on my fears

Who do I come to when I am lost?
In this open road where everybody walks
I wait for words born to be said
Shuffling feet greeted me instead

I trace the sun from behind the clouds
Its rays are nowhere to be found
Why has the world gone gray to my eyes?
When once I couldn't even hear its sighs

Little bird, flying sparrow
How do I hold this aching sorrow?
That I am left, as I wait for June
To carve the sky and look for the moon

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The discontinued comic strip ... actually I never really get to start it properly
Mom is an Endorser of Sustagen
I really get put off whenever mom uses text-speak XD di talaga ako masasanay

Mama: Elo anak magpataba k kumain k ng mrmi pr 2loy ksing me skit lab u 2toy ingat

Me: Nagpapataba nga po aku. Kso ala exercise

Mama: Nahihirapan kbs work mo?

Me: Mahirap po talaga

Mama: Kyk cguro pyat inom k ng sustagen

Me: Juice iniinum ko (referring to the large bottle of apple juice I buy usually)

Mama: Inom kdin ng sustagen

Me: Cge po. Bibili ako ~_~

Truth be told, Sustagen bores me. And I don't even know if it's still around or the target market is now middle-aged people.


Mama: Anak chocolate flavor ang piliin mo

Yes Mama ~_~

I sometimes think never really got over me being the sickly kid. Love you too mom.
Looks Like it's DBAA (Is It?)
I got cut off from the conference a while ago, and couldn't login to YM.

But anyway, to those who don't know, DBAA stands for Don't Be An Asshole. It's sort of a once-a-year affair where the highfiber people get together and do charity for a change. I've been in it twice (this year could be the third), and well, I'm actually looking forward to it. Helps me stop being a hermitty asshole and cease the endless musings for a while and think about those whose needs are more important than mine, or at least give me a chance to pay the blessings that I have forward. May it be a smile or a toy or whatever (eek, I sound like a commercial).

I'm not sure how it's going at the moment, since usually preparations for it happens November. All I can give is my support and a pair of helping hands since I lack organizational skills. Wouldn't mind getting muddy and dirty. So to the prick who summoned me to the conference, I'll be there.

I won't be taking leaves this December anyway ~_~
Pee-tures! December 1 @ Dencio's
These photos are shamelessly pulled from Chelsea's multiply blog (hello!).

And yes, this page will load SLOWLY. Like I care. Muahahha

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I think the event was to welcome these two =_= Elaine and Chelsea

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Jots, Me (Quentin), Glen, Mocha Brudder Kherdz, and Nymos

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Class picture! And what in blazes is that on my face? On my left is two of my favorite couple, Baskog and Lei, that's Zee whose arm I'm pulling, and on my right is Elaine and Captain Jack. On the front is Unsemont and Ed Bitch (?), the one right in front is Bebang, while Kherdz is sitting obliviously. That's Nymos and Glen at the far left.

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Zee and Elaine, dalawang mukha ng tadhana, hehe! That's Larry at the top, being his silly self as usual

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Trying to be funny ~_~* that's Jetlagia (?) between Elaine and Zee

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Nymos, Glen, and Keekai. Notice that grin on Glen's face. Is it not too wide?

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Zombies + White Lady (that's Bebang there at the middle)

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This has got to be the most disturbing sight that night, hahaha!

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Chillin at Yani's place ... not going to go ahead without the alcohol

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Hangover visited me way too early, but it was fun! Captain Jack Sparrow, Elaine, Me, and Nymos (cut off)

Okay so I left my better sense of humor. So what? It's my blog >.<
Here in to, Peace with Thyself
I used to detest going through my Friendster.

Not much people in there, only about 101 right now. The reason I hated going there is because of the bad memories I've incurred throughout most of my adult life. Apart from the fact that all of the women I've dated are in there for the last five years or so. I'm a bit ashamed that I was tempted to erase them from my friends list -- I decided not to come there just so I could chase away the demons on my terms. When I think about it now, I can't believe I'm such a bloody idiot to be doing so.

Right now ... for the most part, I can say that I'm happy for them. Maybe it's the Christmas spirit or what not. Or the desire that I don't want to bear that burden anymore. It just leaves me tired in the end anyway.

I still don't make friends as often as I used to. Just keeping all the old ones and perhaps add a few who stays with me throughout my travels. Rare it is that I reach out, but I do so every once in a while. There *are* people out there that I'd find interesting. Why not find them?

Come to think of it, I never was the amicable one. Yet I hated discriminating any soul. Ironic still, it's the ones whom I hold dear the most are the ones I am the meanest with. Because in the end, I'd still look after them when I'm not in my own spiral of self-destruction, or worry when they get sick or something. I try not to though, but I hated it that I'm born sensitive and empathic. A fact that I hide too well by looking callous and uncaring. That's a ton of twisted reasons there.

Sigh. Time to go home. All I can do for Christmas is to say little prayers about all the good blessings I have. I can't be my old self anymore it seems. Phooey.

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Plan to do some sketching this December!
Up Dharma Down's Flicker
Last (late) night I was watching Flicker by UPD, and might I say I've noticed something.

I seem to think Arre Mallari (the vocalist) don't want to be seen for more than 1 second in a given sequence. That's comparing it to others like Maybe and Pag-agos (?). Not sure if it was meant to imply a mysterious effect (as their music is), but I think it would be marvelous if they could devote an entire music vid with her facing the camera, without any make-up or funky back lights.

Sort of like that Alanis Morisette song.

I dunno, she has a comely face and, uh, maybe because it reminds me of Gracey too much. It's just the way I adore people you know. Yung parang di ka mapapagod katitingin.

Anyway, the song is supposed to be in the Ang Pamana sound track. The song itself is a bit more, mainstream for some reason, but not entirely out of UPD's personal touch.

I <3 Arre
Of December and Why I Should Be Working Instead
Life is what happens when you're not looking.

Amidst all the stupidity I've been doing lately, I think it's all a part of the process of having to be true to myself. I know it sucks big time to be so, but if I don't find time to do it now, I might as well miss what matters most to me.

I've lost important friends along the way. Either by neglect or the fact that there are situations that went too deep that ties were cut. I've burned up bridges because there are somethings I don't know how to deal with (okay, none of that lately muhaha). And probably wouldn't have known how to deal with it today, even though I know what's logical or what's wise for me to do. Yet if I think about it, it's not really a big deal. We're truly silly creatures are we not?

I guess we all to work with ourselves, in that we don't choose what we feel. That perhaps is our human limitation. Or at least, that's my limitation. Part of one's improvement is to be aware of that fact.

I'm easy to misunderstand because I never claimed I'm a simple person. I think my brain hemispheres are cross-wired all wrong, but that's just humor for you. I do the reverse of things when what I really wanted to do was the opposite.

Life is what happens when you're not looking -- I certainly wouldn't to miss it happen now.

Anyway, enough of this nonsense, I'm becoming incoherent again. Time to rock. (or work, *sniff*)
RAN Online: Introducing Kerberos!
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This is my RAN Online character, Kerberos. A level 133 Pow-Dex Brawler for Sacred Gate School. He's very similar to his real life counterpart in that, he doesn't really know what he should be.

Ingame enemies, friends ang gangmates call him Ker, Kerb, Kerbs, or Carebear. Last seen in the Hangout flirting with a Bunny Girl who almost ripped his testicles apart.

Right now, he's the only Power type Brawler in Alab who has Deadly Seven, which makes him feared in duels and wondered in leveling parties. Little do they know he can only wear Heavy Destruction Gauntlets (but is quite enough for most purposes) and Heavy Tough Gauntlets (EP). He is tougher than a normal Pow Brawler but has little hp, so Club Wars is mainly just floor practice with him (in Tagalog, dafain).
Of Decembers and Why You Shouldn't Be A Hermit Part II
It was over platefuls of pasta and cranberry juice.

Yeap, today I had lunch with another group of beloved people in Burgoo, Podium. You know? That place were they have these large sheets of paper for table mats. They supply crayons for writing too.

It's been months also since I last seen them. To top that off, it has become a plan for the oncoming Bora trip next year (can't wait hehe)!

I'm not sure just how these things happen but they happen. Sort of, I never needed a long history with the people I'm with to know that they go well with me. So yeah, I love them, the guys and Gran. Maybe back then I was trying to find solace in anyway I can find it. Even if it be people I could barely have any relation for. So it was a blessing they happen to be on the path I'm treading on. I just love hearing them speak about anything and everything -- it's always interesting even though it's not something I could always relate to.

Amidst the plates, I sketched a face. I was actually just doing my usual nonsensical portrait drawings. Then they went, oh ain't that Liza ? (she's sitting beside me) XD Truth be told, I've always thought she's a lovely woman. So I added her necklace to the sketch. Haha, okay enough of that now. Baka suntukin na nya ko.

What I really planned was to go to the office afterwards. I'm always worrying about my work. Decided to go against it and let tomorrow worry about it when it comes. The story ends with me here, blogging.


In the following weeks, I'm going to meet up with the circle of friends that I have pushed away even farther. Hi guys =_= *matamlay na kaway*
Of Decembers and Why You Shouldn't Be A Hermit
Last night, for the first time in more than half a year, I went to see some of the most beloved people I came across with. Man, I missed those guys.

It was already past 9pm. I just woke up after a misscheduled nap. Got a text message about the gang having some gathering in Dencio's Metrowalk. I was still groggy and indecisive if I should go or not. But then I went, what the heck, why not go out and have some fun. After all, looks like I wouldn't be taking that quiet stroll in Glorietta, and the doctor was again being too nice to have simply said no last week and has to come up with the usual line of arranging a schedule or something. Heck, if that was me, I'd say no if I feel like it, no explanations asked. Oh well, I'd let it go, bearing in mind it'll be the last time I'd put up with that. Anyway, my whole intent was to just grab a beer, sit in a corner, and just while the night away worrying about the humongous task that I have to deal with for the whole of December (and for the better part of next year).

From pricks, jocks, bitches, cheerleaders, to geeks and geekettes ... all of them a league of their own. The occassion was actually to welcome Elaine from the US.

I wouldn't have believed it myself that I was actually missed. The cynical, hate-the-world-me was actually missed (yeah, I know mom does but I didn't expect this). Hey, it was a good, warm feeling. Mocha brother was the usual culprit, heh heh. I gave Zee a tight hug, yeah I missed that bright lass. She gets picked on as usual by Captain Jack. Jooz-man was there as well, Nymos, Biggie, Bebang, Basky and Lei, and some new faces as well (sorry, poor with name-face recognition). There were ofcourse, faces that would've made me glad if they were there: Patrick Starfish (haha, dude), Ayeth, Tere, MG, heck, I'd be glad to see cherubim again. It's a pity about the DBAA though, looks like none will be organized for that this year as everyone is busy. Ofcourse the highlight of that would be the after-party :D

Spent the wee hours in Mocha brudder's crib and stayed awake, having spin the bottle games and talking about the year that will soon pass by. Yeah, I missed a lot. But it made me appreciate everything more.

Yeah, December is teaching me something. Will have lunch tomorrow with Gran ^_^ looking forward to it.

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