I don't think I can ever put everything here in this blog.

This place is too little to contain my grand perspective of life. Too pristine to ever bear witness to the myriad sins I have committed to humanity. BUT, here's something I'll try right now. A personal entry about moi (like, I haven't been doing that). Yes, I'm fearless.

I'd like to put into the table a really bad trait of mine -- stubborness. In the extreme o_O

Let me put in a related analogy.

One night, I was putting NT to sleep (our pet cat). Oh a little trivia, researchers say that stroking cats reduce stress. But anyway, as I was saying, I was putting the kitten-cat to sleep but only succeeded in putting her in a state of loud purr-ness (you know, that audible krr krr krr krr sound?). As I was rubbing her tummy, she suddenly rose to bite and claw me.

Ofcourse, since I have high pain tolerance, I was just looking at my skin getting scratched, poked, until my right hand got all this criss-cross swollen marks -- and I still continued rubbing her tummy. It came to a point that her canine teeth and frontal claws are in so deep that I began clenching my teeth. And I still continued rubbing her tummy.

All I wanted was to rub her fluffy, furry tummy because that's what I wanted, regardless if it will do me harm.

Unfortunately, that analogy doesn't stay with cats and tummy rubbing. And well, that has always been my downfall. I have a life that revolves around wanting only one thing and try and get it even if it takes away everything else. Even if, the sanest part of my mind is saying "Stop it", I just can't help but go on. I'm wired that way.

Cue in Everything by Lifehouse.

So you see, adding to that, it also caused me to have a difficult time letting go. So, for the past years, it has always been chapters of notable experiences, alternated with chapters of isolation. That isolation, or hermit periods, are times when I don't want anyone else frolicking into my life. Oh, I do look out the window every once in a while. And I do, look for people ^_^

Fortunately, my stubborness don't show its ugly head all the time. More like half the time, so there's a respite there. Maybe I'm getting wiser, or getting the hang of it, who knows.

So you see, I have always been afraid of that trait of mine, thus I ignore it, pretend it's nothing. And that has mainly caused me to wall everyone up. However, I am thankful that I am put in a place where there ARE good people around. People who don't mind someone like me insulting them everyday and making a mess of everything (hehe) and still continue giving me gifts for Christmas *wink* *wink* *kindat* *kirat* *ha-tching*

However stubborness, can also mean perseverance. The good side of the coin.


In other, more cheerful news, here's a pic of the Podium lunch with Gran and the guys last Sunday.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
PJ, Nikki, Chuck, and Nadja / Gran, Liza, Me -- Since we have two sweet couples in front of us, Gran couldn't help but take the lower right picture, much to Liza's apparent disgust of having to be beside a cave man (lol).

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Who are They?
Looked these up, just for tripping, haha. Peace Caenden!


Thanks to Jooz-man for the mp3 hehe, was too lazy to look them up.