The Terrible Writings of Quentin Montejo
Serial experiments on a fallen archangel who only wanted to regain just one wing back
Free of the World. Rain worshipper. Hermit. Tormented mind. Caged spirit. Defiant and eternal enemy of Destiny and Fate. Poet. Scientist. Artist. Daydreamer. He who laughs. Slacker. Sleeper. Romancer of wings and clouds. Fiercely independent. He who is ponderous. Games and anime junkie. Four eyes. Caveman. Nature-lover. He who doesn't think that hard. Non-smoker. Music-junkie. Counter of blessings. Guitar-hugger. He who simply wants what everybody else would like to be in this world and the next -- to be happy.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Passed by Ayeth's blog, and took a random curiousity with them runes. First time I saw them was when I was playing Ultima 7 on the IBM/PC.
Heck, I memorized all runes and their meanings. Along with some spell combinations (like uh, Create Food). Ahh, the memories of casting Armageddon and not knowing why the game wouldn't do anything much after that :/
Anyway, I runed out my name, Quentin, along with my favorite number, 25. Here's what I got:
What is required
Be open to new ideas and allow your heart to truly hear what it's journey will accept. When you are open hurt may come but it will quickly pass, remain closed and fear may rule and prevent the new from entering your heart.
Grow to allow others to grow and thereby extend your power beyond the limited view of what can be seen with the eyes alone. For in growing within the whole world will be a fertile fruit baring place of peace, tranquillity, birth and rebirth.
The Broad View
The Unknowable, what you seek has been answered, the answer lies within and cannot be found externaly, however, do not dwell within to seek your answers but move forward, following your heart, and remember you are your own wise voice when you hear what is said beyond mind alone. The Blank Rune offers a reminder that our own knowledge is greater and stonger than we "think".
I don't know what mystic stuff some people like to attach these things to. But I like the words "Journey", "Grow", and "Unknowable". It has a nice ring to it.
Trying to be Productive
Saturday found me squirting poop out of my ass.
I think it's because of that longgan fruit I ate a lot last Friday. So I was too weak to go anywhere else that day. And from the looks of it, I knew I was dehydrated because of the hangover-like feeling I had the moment I woke up (and squirted poop out of my ass).
So I had to go out and by myself some Gatorade. Darn, and I thought it was gonna be a nice day for roaming around.
Today however, I tried to go to the gym and expected some three hour workout. Unfortunately, I was met by some sort of commotion. They look like they're shooting something in there. I thought a crime had occurred but it turns out, the security officials I saw were medics. I mean, if somebody was dead, medics wouldn't be around now would they? Instead I'd see something more interesting like forensics experts. Not that I know what they wear.
Anyway, I think I'm growing triceps now. To think I don't stick to any exercise regimen. It's all pump that gut and go. I just want to be strong, but a nice form wouldn't be so bad.
I ate my late lunch at the Mediterranean, and since I was being adventurous, decided to fore go the grilled chicken and order Moussaka instead. It's Greek or so I remembered. I thought in my mind that this would be new, except that I discovered my taste buds weren't exactly ready for cheesiness alongside with couscous.
Should've ordered the grilled chicken -_-
In other news, my head is overflowing with concept ideas for the fiction. Hmm. Better grab a pen quick.
Also, there are some La Union plans going and I do hope it occurs this October! Surfing fun!
My latest collage -- featuring Tricia the Tarsier. Taken from Melvin's pictures ofcourse.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Blunt Thoughts: About Going There
Had a nice dinner with friends last night.
The original Palawan group reunited (almost complete) and talking about the times. We had dinner at Freska in Greenhills Promenade where they served oysters.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen. Scrumptuous OYSTERS eaten with aligue rice.
If my cholesterol level is any higher I'd be dead by now ;)
It's nice to have stories being thrown here and there, about the fun Bohol trip even though there's still a lot of things we could have done. We needed that break. I needed that break.
October is still sketchy on any out of town trips. But my November is already half full on the first two weeks. And that's exciting.
I don't have to think much in the following months til this year ends. No fretting over anything at all.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
I think I've started writing stories again. So one of my dead writing blogs will come back to life. Somehow.
Man. I missed the universes I've created in my head (partly the reason why I am eccentric).
Because you know what, it's my dream to write a really fantastic story, and see it take a life of its own. Isn't that great? Now I have what it takes to make it all alive -- yes ... the internet! Muahahaha!
Plus, it'll challenge my drawing skills again. Which is another terrific thing in itself. I've pulled up my sketch pad from underneath my bed and I've began drawing things like a high school comic book maniac.
First thing's first, I need to give the race I've created a name. Biblical? Sumerian? Persian? Macedonian? The references are endless!
It feels so good that it feels like a drug all over again :D
Would you believe these drawings are over a decade old? They are one of my first born creations. I have to put them to rest though until I revisit them again. I decided to start on the fourth universe.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Your Guardian Angel - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Alright, time for WOW Philippines pictures alternated by emo-rock lyrics that has absolutely no relation to the pictures! Yeah!
When I see your smile, tears roll down my face. I can't replace.
And now that I'm strong, I have figured out,
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul.
And I know, I'll find, deep inside me, I can be the one.
I will never let you fall.
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all.
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.
It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Seasons are changing and waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us.
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter,
I can show you I'll be the one.
I will never let you fall.
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all.
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.
'Cause you're my, you're my, my, my, my true love,
My whole heart, please don't throw that away.
Because I am here, for you.
Please don't walk away, and please tell me you'll stay.
Use me as you will, pull my strings just for a thrill.
And I know I'll be okay, though my skies are turning gray.
I will never let you fall.
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all.
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Bohol: Way Back into Life
When I was younger, I used to ride my blue bicycle and wondered how far I could ride without turning back
- Honey & Clover
Yeah, lately I sound like a melodramatic moron because of all the thoughtful stuff I said. But I'm a bit okay now (LOL).
Guess I can't be someone who just blogs about every little detail about what's happening in my life. No siree, I instead blog about a state of mind. Perhaps it's just the way my head is wired up or something.
Anyway, I just received my IELTS result. It says I have a band score 7.0, which means I'm a bit above average and enough to give me extra points for that visa application. Although I don't really need more, still it just might be good in case they subtract something from my points without my knowledge.
Strangely enough, my highest points were in listening and speaking, with reading and writing trailing behind. And here I was thinking I'd score best in writing! Ah what the heck. I do become careless about grammatical errors here and there. Confuse my past and present tenses and stuff.
By the way, as an announcement:
ANYONE NEEDING AN IELTS REVIEWER JUST CONTACT ME
I have a book here which I bought that I barely even read the week before the exam. It even has a CD to aid in listening and it's not even opened! So to the folks out there, just give me a holler aight? I'd be happy to be rid of this book (it's pretty thick too).
Now where were we?
Oh yeah. I just passed my application online. In a way, I get shaky making transactions that way. Beside the fact I'm not even using a credit card I own (hehe ... hay), there's something wrong with their server, and I couldn't click on a couple of links at the end page.
They better have a really reliable and secure site or I'll be furious. Although, it's a matter of somebody else being furious because of the credit card ;)
In other news, my second baby, Belavia, has her birthdate getting nearer. And I'm pretty sure I'm not giving her enough attention. She's my second baby damnit! Things should be better this time around!
So here I am, trying to prepare her nappies ...
Thursday, September 20, 2007
I'm One Year Old!
I just had a talk this morning with a colleague (note, I said colleague instead of 'higher up').
One of the nice things I like about being where I am is that, positions are merely formalities. We're really all equals. Which sort of removes the stigma on how you interact with people in general.
Bureaucracy. Bah, he says.
I for one, have little regard for authority. Perhaps I only do so just so it's convenient for me and don't want the trouble that I might go through. But that's not the point here.
It's been a year. Yeah, I've been through so much in so little time.
That's why I am realizing how little time I have in this world. A year feels like a heartbeat to me now. When I was kid, it can be a lifetime. Hehe, I must be getting old.
But it's really really good to feel appreciated.
"You are one of the best developers we have here"
"I don't know how this company would have been without you"
"I really, really wish you'd still like it here"
Those maybe just words yes, but words can mean a difference. Of course, I have my own thoughts about myself. Like I said, my memory is volatile. I forget things. That's why I asked only one thing.
Make me remember.
Remind me why I do the things I do, even though I have become mindless of the reason. Then again that's too personal is it not? That's why I'm left in the dark sometimes. It feels like flying with only one wing.
You know I can't smile without you, I can't laugh without you :D
Bohol: The Aftermath
I haven't had that much fun in a long time. The only thing that bugs me is that it didn't last for more than a week. It has to be THAT long to squeeze out all the good things out of a vacation.
But, as reality goes, nothing lasts forever. What we only really have is the moment.
It was a full packed four nights and three days. And I went there without a thorn in my heart, which makes BIG difference. I only need to tire myself with the wind, the waves, the terrific food, and the endless things to talk about.
To be just there.
No busy stuff to think about
No urban cacophony
No and nothing of that sort
I had to, had to take pictures. Because my volatile memory cannot hold good things like this when it passes by, so I had to take pictures.
After arriving, we had a finale at Silk Thai in Market! Market! somewhere in The Fort. The food was divine, and it was really filling. When I got home I slept and found myself laughing at the fact that I noticed my jaw was munching on its own. And my legs are twitching because it still thought I was at sea.
Still, I'd like to go back remembering everything that happened. Let it all sink in. I'd like to remind myself that life is beautiful. I must not waste a minute away, but that doesn't mean I should not take time to rest.
Also, the trip reminded me that despite everything, I'm still my silly old self. Perhaps, that will never change. There's a lot of things in life that I don't know. But I can comfort myself to the fact that ... it's not my job to do so.
Yes, it is difficult not knowing everything. That's why we have faith, so it seems.
Something I have slowly been shaking off lately because I wanted to know, I wanted to control. I just couldn't leave everything to chance. I wanted to have a hand in the things I want.
Now, I just want to always, always remind myself to let go. Let the unexpected happen.
There's a ton of pics I'll be posting for a couple of months to come, just for this trip. Ashley didn't have enough space for everything so I'm leaving some of the shots to my friends. I only had that one pic of Grace, but that's just fine. I've been taking her everywhere I go ... any place where I could comfortably bring a guitar.
One of the most serene moments in my life is playing a guitar as I meet the dawn. I accomplished such. Yet, it looks like I am still wanting something. And not really want it at the same time. Which all in all, spoiled my mood somewhat. That's okay.
I only have to let life play this one out.
Gotta remember that. Yeah ... hafta remember that ...
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Bohol: Save this Tattered Soul
Alright, this will be my last post up until Thursday next week. See y'all then!
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Quentinology (tagged by Acer) ... and some other stuff
Q: What is your salad dressing of choice?
A. No particular dressing. I eat them untarnished. I'm a goat!
Q: What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
A. Burger King. Sila lang kase may apple juice
Q: What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
A. Italianni's <3
Q: On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A. 10? Nyehehe, whatever the coins add up to
Q: What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of it?
A: Tortang talong!
Q: What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Q: What do you like to put on your toast?
I usually am adventurous with convenience store drinks ... here's a coffee drink that has a funky package. Upper right is the humble tortang talong which nourished me (placebo!) through my college years. Lower right is one of the most expensive single dish I've ordered in Lemon Grass -- Marinated prawn and grilled pork. Doesn't feel worth it though.
You should all try Vietnamese dishes every now and then. This one is Pho`Hoa located in Mega B Basement. My lunch buddy almost always come here once a week. And I almost always order Pho Bo Koh.
Q: What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A. A picture I took on our company Batangas outing. It's a serene, night time view *dreams*
Q: How many televisions are in your house?
Q: Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Q: Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A. Lymph glands (nodes?)
Q: What is the last heavy item you lifted?
A. A 200 lb dude I murdered last ni ... I mean, weights. 20kg each :D
Q: Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A. Knocked? After my escape from the mental hospital they had to shoot me with tranquilizer darts.
Q: If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A. I'd like to. Helps to plan stuff. Like plant trees or solve world hunger before kicking the bucket.
Q: If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
A. Hmm. I'm using the name I want. But it's not official ;)
Q: What color do you think looks best on you?
A: Dark blue.
Q: Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A. Yung paper sa ilalim ng siopao
Q: Have you ever saved someone’s life?
A. Yeah. I almost died myself.
Q: Has someone ever saved yours?
A. Yeah. I almost killed him too :D
Q: Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A. Huh, yeah baby
Q: Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000
A. Hmm. I have no use for little fingers ...
Q: Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A. That's not enough.
Q: Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
A. Fuck yes. Nyahahaha.
Q: Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
A. Uhm. I don't like abusing my digestive system.
Q: Would you, without fear of punishment, take a humans life for $1,000,000?
A. I kill for free once you can bring out my homicidal persona.
Q: What is in your left pocket?
A. Condo keys and change
Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A. There's a small furry pad on the floor. Not sure what it is.
Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A. Why the hell would you sit?
Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
A. One. May takong pa :D
Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A. None so far.
Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A. I'm living the good life baby!
Q: Who is number 1 on your top 8?
A. It's usually the one I care for the most at the moment ...
Q: Friend you talked to?
A. Friends ... I guess that would be Nadja
Q: Last person who called you?
Q: Person you hugged?
Q: Person you kissed?
A: Autumn. Kahit wala nito sa pinas
Q: Missing someone?
A. Yeah. I'm embarrassed to see her though.
A. Shaken ... been having those gloomy dreams still ...
Q: Listening to?
A: A Promise I Make by Dakota Moon
A. My computer monitor
Q: Worrying about?
A. Not much. Hope the bowling would go fine tomorrow.
Q: First place you went this morning?
Q: What can you not wait to do?
A. I want to surf! With a real surfboard on a real ocean wave!
Q: What’s the last movie you saw?
A. The Bourne Ultimatum
Q: Do you smile often?
A. Not much lately.
Q: Are you a friendly person?
A. Think so. But I have a suplado aura.
Q. Tag five people and explain why you're tagging 'em.
A: THE MISERY ENDS HERE :D
I love you all though :)
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
LomoManila: By the Bonifacio High Street, I Sat Down and Thought
The boogie man in the smoking room ...
The friends I gone out with for the night ...
The scents, the sounds, the good people around :) I met two friends in there, surprisingly. Namely Marge and Kat. Both lomo enthusiasts.
Make sure that when your life flashes before your eyes ... you have a lot to watch ...
For an instant, while looking at the picture exhibits ... I am reminded of a realization.
I now know what I want my life to be for the next 20 years.
I don't really plan to live after 50. Thinking about that I have less than half of my life left, it puts everything in perspective does it not? 20 years seems to be such little time left.
Ofcourse, after a few beers I forgot about that, and went back sulking in a corner (hehehe)
Monday, September 10, 2007
Random Thoughts: Atonement and Pasta Arrabiata
Yesterday I had a craving for Pasta Arrabiatta.
It's a tomato-based pasta, no meat. Just plain tomato sauce goodness. So far, the only place good enough for me is from Piadina.
I've tried the ones in Spaghetti Factory and Old Spaghetti House, but somehow Piadian catches the simplicity and delight of it.
And nothing, nothing can ever make my mouth water than a really good plate of Pasta Arrabiatta.
I love pastas in general though. Except the carbonara sauces. I think they should be made illegal >_<
I miss my best friend. WHEREVER YOU ARE YOU FLAMING IDIOT, CHAT WITH ME IN YM.
I have so much to tell ya :<
Alright, I've reached a saturation point. I must get away. I'm sooo looking forward to that Bohol adventure next week.
THIS IS SO GOING TO BE COOL
Four days and three nights of unadulterated fun, sun, and bum!
I have this red book ...
I use it as a mouse pad sometimes.
Long ago I wanted to burn it, so I wouldn't have to remember anything anymore.
But I couldn't.
Through the years, it has become a part of me.
It's just there.
I don't want to open it.
I don't want to read what's inside.
It's basically a compilation of poems.
Some are made about me.
Reading them is painful.
I feel like Kenshin Himura, seeking atonement.
And this red book is my reverse-edged sword, a reminder of my sins.
And I will carry this until I've truly, truly learned ...
How it is ...
How it all is ...
~ listening to Sophia ~
In other news, hot from the Google tab: I'm the first hit for the lyrics of Mr. Brightside!
GOOGLE HIT FOR MR. BRIGHTSIDE
Look at it while it's hot :D
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Mr. Procrastinator came to an IELTS exam today. Heck, he didn't even review substantially considering he applied for the exam less than two weeks ago.
He didn't expect a lot of people taking it on one fine Saturday morning. The people ranged from elitist looking people, to able seafarer-looking bunch. And there he was, feeling as alien as ever.
He's so comfortable, he went in his sandals, dirt pants, and passport. He never even cared to get himself a pencil thinking he can get one in there anyway.
May napulot nga siya, nyahahaha
He's like, yeah, I'm going to ace this shit. What he doesn't know is that Brit accent feels different verbally using it than from listening to it.
So when he tried listening, he was dreaming the voice actors in Read or Die. And well, missed a few answers.
"Oh well", he shrugs.
Reading bored him. Since he finished wayyy too early and didn't care to review the answers he slumped in his seat and imagined something worthwhile to daydream. The reading material was interesting though, so at least he could expand his knowledge about UK population demographics.
He chuckled on that one. He remembered back in grade school where he memorized three thick books about demography and population education for an interschool competition. It actually was boring, but since he's the only one in class that could shove tons of information in his brain he had no choice.
The last part was a writing exam. The last task was to write an opinion about the violence caused by watching cartoons.
They required at least 250 words.
He wrote more than 500.
Hey it was a touchy topic D:
Friday, September 07, 2007
The Firefly in the Bottle
still listening to Look After You ...
Don't you sometimes get that feeling every once in a while where you want to keep it forever? You just that one instant, that one piece of time you want immortalized?
And yet when you finish thinking about it, it ... just ... goes away ...
In other news, Marge gave me a couple of song titles for my ears to munch on, namely:
Sophia - Nevina Pallot
Paolo Nutine - Last Request
So Not For You (I Have No Right) - PM Dawn
Alright. Time for an mp3 hunt.
Look After You
If I don't say this now I will surely break
As I'm leaving the one I want to take
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate
There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you won't you, be the one I'll always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down
If ever there was a doubt
My love she leans into me
This most assuredly counts
She says most assuredly
It's always have and never hold
You've begun to feel like home
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own
You are so beautiful to me ...
- song by The Fray
Thursday, September 06, 2007
It only took one hello and my mind changed a lot about everything. It's like the plans in my head suddenly straightened out and my mind ironed all the minor details. But I'm sure it's just me -- a natural trait of mine.
And lately, I have another repeated Google hit. It's about some november blessing guitar tab.
Find out by clicking this.
Realizations in a Zombie State Part II
One other thing I hate about this state is the loss of acute senses.
Namely, my sense of hunger. When I'm hungry, I only feel a very slight pang. If I don't pay attention, I might go the whole day without eating anything at all.
Man ... I need to change something.
And the gloomy dreams are continuing still. Instead of feeling great the time I wake up, I feel like my eyebrows are knitted together. If a depressing state causes this to me, then what I need is the reverse. Something that will make me feel really, really good.
So ... I'm looking forward to the Bohol trip which is only just a couple of weeks away. Incidentally, I'm picking up guitar-playing again. Just an occasional strum here and there ... imagining all the sights and dramatic pictures, I feel relaxed already.
That, despite the fact at that time it'll be UAT for my second baby, Belavia ;)
If there's a chance to feel good NOW however, I'd take that opportunity. This zombie state sucks. Having numbed feelings isn't such a good experience.
I'm playing mp3s of acoustic songs lately.
It haunts me ... I'm going to sing in a Bohol night ... with some good friends. Somehow I want to make this different in a way.
Away from everything. Don't have to prove anything ... just the beautiful beach and the sea ...
I've been spending some time
Thinking that I'd be alright
Don't know if I could make it tonight
Lie awake in the dark
la la la I don't know what freaking next line is
I don't know where I went wrong la la la la
Should I stay should I go?
Well I really don't know ...
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Realizations in a Zombie State
I'm in a zombie state for almost three weeks now.
I couldn't readjust my body clock back to 10:00 am. And it's not making me happy. I couldn't sleep because if I sleep I will dream. And the dreams I've been having are not exactly something you'd want to revisit. Not exactly pleasant.
I am solitary creature I know.
But there are somethings that makes me feel even more ... like an outcast. Instead of the feeling that I need to be by myself because I am a monarch who is above things, I feel like I'm a leper who just can't fit anywhere even among my own kind. Those kinds of dreams (I couldn't exactly remember them anyway, only the emotion remains upon waking up).
Quite sure, however. That is has something to do with my planned big move.
My mind is already constructing the life I will live there.
On weekends I'll visit my auntie, catch up with a decade of lost memories. I have been the last of a long lost second generation. And now, I am a long lost son. There are so much to talk about with her.
So much. And she needs to know a lot at about me which I don't tell her in those happy overseas calls. I also need to know what's on her mind.
Our beloved, wise, strong-hearted auntie.
What was she thinking going away from us? Was she also thinking the same thing about me going there? That she did it for herself? I must know. Because we missed her sooooooooo much.
And this will be my chance to know it all as the wayward prince of the clan.
A few nights before, I went to my last soul sister's home.
I go there maybe once or three times a year ;) even though she's just a stone's throw away from the condo. I needed to give her my new cell phone number.
And well, talk about how each other's lives are going ...
I couldn't explain the feeling when I see her. She's part of a past that I wanted to forget completely. But I couldn't because she's a neutral party, a witness. While I ... I was in a turmoil of a situation along with other players of the game.
That was ages ago though. Lessons learned. I went there to learn how happy she is right now. How similarly we think about the stuff of life. We talked for hours, ranted, and laughed. This brilliant woman has so much going in her life.
I hugged her goodbye, promising to visit again whenever I feel like it. As I went back to my reality.
Monday, September 03, 2007
Mr. Brightside - The Killers
Coming out of my cage
And I've been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss
It was only a kiss
Now I'm falling asleep
And she's calling a cab
While he's having a smoke
And she's taking the drag
Now they're going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it's all in my head
But she's touching his chest now
He takes off her dress now
Let me go
And I just can't look
It's killing me
And taking control
Turning saints into the sea
Turning through sick lullaby
Joking on your alibi
But it's just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
I'm Mr. Brightside
I can crack all sorts of jokes without me knowing and even in times when I feel like my world has toppled over.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Random Thoughts: Me Study? Noooorrffff
Yeah, my instincts are telling me to pick up that IELTS reviewer and make it count -.-
Now that sucks big time. I still feel a bit woozy with the analgesics and antipyretics (meaning Medicols and Neozeps ;)). Man, I hated that one Friday night.
So a page turns. What's next in the life Quentin Montejo?
Btw, I'm thinking of redesigning this blog when the time comes. Some sort of new outlook in life. Or a revamped, tired one :D
Hmm. Career-wise there are some things I need to improve on. But I can only do so if I have my own space. But that would be a hassle NOW because I'm going to be using the condo address as a mailing address. Because you know? Stuff.
Yeah, this post is an excuse for another gut-tumbling revolution in my mind. I'm trying hard to keep Mr. Pragmatic and Mr. Wiseman to be on top. Their worst enemies are the Kid, and the Idiot.
But at least, it's a better episode than before. Whew.
Saturday, September 01, 2007
In the Heat of Delirium
I came to work yesterday a bit sick.
But it was a good idea going home. Akala ko kase kaya ko e. Pero ayun, I went straight to bed, thinking I could hold off the illness. I thought it was just a normal fever, but the symptoms of influenza are there.
It's hard to imagine though. Thursday, I was fine as a flea. Next morning, I'm incubating a virus. But that's not all there is to the story.
At around 4:00 pm, my temperature kept rising and I couldn't stand straight anymore. Which is bad because I am pretty sure my body is already hungry. That's the thing with flu. It numbs your sense of hunger, and if your body don't have energy, I'll be weak to do much else.
By night time, I was in a state of delirium.
I couldn't open my eyes, and every movement I make is painful. The blood vessels in my head are throbbing, causing pain with every heart beat. My mind is in a loop of senseless thoughts about shapes (which almost occurs to me during delirium).
Then, before I realized it ... I was calling out a name.
Why would I utter that? With my head still in pain I went to the sink, soaked a towel with cool water, then went back to bed trying to cool my head. Uttering that name comforted me. But I refused to try and understand but it made me think ... why? Why now? Why you?
The burning fever went on through the night. At about 1:00 am, believing I had enough strength, I got up from bed and went outside to buy myself some more medicine (thank God for 24 hour convenience stores).
It was raining lightly.
Normally it's not a good idea to go out. But I thought it would be nice to get some cool air. So I went out, bumping through everything in sight because I couldn't walk straight, and took about 20 minutes to get to the store.
They didn't have aspirin. Great. So I settled for something else.
My body is probably thirsty (without telling me) so I bought some Gatorade and bread to go with the medicine. Went home, watched some cable, then went back to sleep.
If you can call that sleep. It still bugs me about that name. I can think of reasons why, but I don't want to listen to reasons right now. What good will it do to me anyway?
I've been meaning to blog about this but it always managed to slip my mind.
You know when you wish for something really bad, it happens in its own way? Not because there's some genie granting wishes somewhere, but it happens because it happens. And sometimes, it's granted not in the way you'd like it to be. But it's there.
Okay, I'm not being specific. One example is that the company I'm in now. I wished for a place that constantly challenges me.
I got it.
There's the second and third more important. But I'll spit it out when the time comes.
I'll let life play this one out. Yeah, I think I'll put that as a new motto.
There are some things in life you can't have control over. There's only so much you can do. So sit back, don't think too hard. Let life play this one out.
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