The hermit is ...

blessed with so many things. So many, many things. Yet the hermit cannot get what his heart desire the most.

He forgot to count the blessings because of this one desire.

Irony.

I have so many photos in my laptop.

Just one bad hard disk and they're all gone. I have a lot of plans for them though. Print them, post them, do effects on them. But in my idle time, I always do something else.

Perhaps I don't have to tell myself I'm at fault. I just do what I would naturally do. Perhaps if left with nothing but the simple things in life, no responsibilities, no duties, no worries, then perhaps I'll begin taking them up. Either that or some intense inspiration knocks on my door. And it's a door caked with cobwebs right now.

I think I'll go knock on a door.

There's this door I want to get in, but it's not open. I can peek at the window, but the curtains are drawn.

There's another door that I can enter freely, but it's sorta dark inside. Yet in a way, it feels so comfortable.

There's a third door that I may be able to come in to, but I think it's not the place I truly want.

I wanted to get back to the first door. It's what I want.

* Nikki Gil is singing in the background *

Looked at all the ingredients to make palabok. Crab stuff. Garlic. Calamansi. And some other ingredients.

Hmm.

I have a reason to make these. And it's not to satisfy myself. Gotta wake up early tomorrow. Make it as great as possible.

And then someday, someday, I'll have no reason to make great things. Do I really need one?

Yeah I need one. Jeez, that's the voice in my head answering it for me. Great.



I'll try to be happy I made somethin. Tomorrow's gotta be good for somethin' aye?

Oh. Who are you? You want me to leave it behind?

Oh dear.

~~~

Excuse me while I curl up and try to bring order somewhere in my cerebrum XD

I was looking at what cover letters were like (you know, letter that goes before your resume).

Realized that, if I was a fresh grad I'd make it flowery and embellished as possible. But now, what it looks like to me is that it makes you look like a whore out to woo her next customer.

Seriously.

I'm beginning to see the reason why I should be my own boss.

I've already set a deadline. Come January I'm outta here.

Things I need to do:
- set up an Australian bank account
- patch things up with insurance
- liquidate time deposit (not implying I'm in anyway rich mind you)

and for the little things:
- gifts for Christmas
- what I'll leave and what I'll bring
- hmm, been fancying of getting myself a camcorder
-

Of course I have to prepare for the worst. That is, no income for the next six months. Good thing I'm not a family man. Still have three months to do all this though.

Incidentally, gotta talk to basky and lei. I need people to talk about stuff. All What I'm really waiting is my 13th month pay so I have some more security financial wise.

Mr. Destiny, what do you have in store for me, man?

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
'cause we'll hold each other soon
In the blackest of rooms

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the No's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark

~~~

for HQ (1981-2008)