This is a dinner table in St. Joseph, a well-known restaurant in Sagada

Yesterday, and this day's morning I've done some spring cleaning on my stuff. Can't believe just how much dust have accumulated, and how much of my clothes that I really don't use (and must throw out).

I wish my head is just as easy to spring clean. Ugh.

It's just that there's little green gremlin in there that manages to spring up at the most inopportune times. The exact times that I need to be cool.

Anyway, I've discarded about four pairs of shoes today. I've put it in a black garbage bag. The first pair is my Merrell outdoor shoes. That Vibram trademark is a total failure. My foot STILL slips off. Next is my office shoes which I bought much later than my GBX. Man, I liked that pair but it can't live up to my roughness. It's more of a pansy, for-metro-guys kind of shoes. The third pair is my casual pair of Nike shoes. I had to throw it away because it's killing my feet. Or put it more accurately, it gave my left foot a nasty corn. The last pair ... well I really don't know if I even own it. But judging by the amount of dust it gathered, nobody wants it.

>_<

Looks like another year will end up soon. I've done and achieved stuff yes, but the things I want the most are still pending. I think I've stopped being optimistic along the way. I've become this monster of a person that thinks of too few things.

You know what?

I think being the dude one is now, is just a product of your experiences + what you naturally are. I mean, one can be born optimistic, but tragedies and stuff can turn you embittered. It may also be the other way around, like say you're a natural ass, and some life-turning event turned you into a pleasant person.

Ah well, enough nonsense talk.

I have that little green gremlin to deal with. Damn. I think it might as well be another persona of mine.

~~~

Btw, I've found the cure for my nihilism. And funny how it is just as silly. Ask what it is? Yeah. It's called wonder.

Mmhhmm. It's personal shit man, so don't ask.