I went home to Cavite, after a couple of months of (uh) not going there.

I've dropped by to give mom the 1 kilo danggit and dried squids I bought from Cebu (man, are they smelly).

Like all routines, I've asked mom what news in our quiet little barrio.

That's just the thing in provinces -- nothing really changes.

Exactly the reason why staying there depresses me. It's a place to live a simple life, yet, to a restless individual it is dying while still alive.


This is a spider we call "Gagambang Hari" nesting outside our house in Cavite. We used to fear these because of their size and intimidating mandibles

It doesn't help that mom couldn't say anything happy at all.

"Mga tao dito, walang wala."

People couldn't change here. Not that they couldn't but because they desire not to. But in some little way, I wanted that for myself as well.

And you know what's ironic about it all? When I was still living there I was looking for change, for excitement -- I wanted to dream and see that dream happen. Yet when I came to live here in Manila, all I wanted was an axis of permanence. An unchanging beacon I can turn to in a world full of chaos and despair.


Took this picture of a light-decorated tree while walking with a sleepy date last Friday. Reminds me of a night scene in LoTR where they visited the elven queen (played by Cate Blanchett). *zips mouth*