After all that has happened, I've come to embrace the thought of travelling alone (oh dear, full blown hermit). I'd even go for a month with unshaved facial hair carrying my walking stick and raggedy clothes.
I want to write about it. Record every thought that comes into my mind, be it good, be it bad.
Then again, what difference would that have from writing everything about what's in my head here in this blog?
Well I have to admit, I have failed to continually fulfill the purpose of this blog. That is, to write everything regardless of what everybody thinks. That is so I can face what I do not like about myself and improve what I already have.
I would've wished to put on record, but ... some aspects of my life I still hesitate to write down and be read. I guess I'm entitled to keep it so. Sometimes when I'm bored I go through all the posts I have not published (quite a number of them). They never get to be released mostly because the mood was gone before I could finish it.
Not too long ago, I have made another blog, a really private one. In there I've banked all what I wanted to say while in my most extreme emotions. Sort of like a jar where you could shout in and seal. I really found the activity satisfying. Instead of bottling it all up in myself and have to carefully choose the words to blog, in there I just let it all out.
But when I think about putting what I've written there into this one, it really didn't feel it can belong here. That perhaps confirms the fact that, we can really become another person and not feel that it's a also another 'you'. Things we realize only after a time and have our perspectives changed.
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Ah, looks like the bruises on my chest has healed. I dived at about a height of 20 feet in the wrong position. Felt like I landed on concrete X(