I've noticed that I'm always in a hurry these days.
Not enough time to do this. Not enough time to do that. And to squeeze it all in, I have to hurry up the pace. At the back of my mind, I know something will break if I continue doing this. And I know that I'm missing on a lot of things because of the situation I've put myself into.
Two months.
Man, looks like I never let a day pass by without doing a lot of things. Just what am I in a hurry for? The answer would probably be the demands of my work. But isn't that the very thing I used to detest? That I should work to live and not live to work? What makes it worse is that I really have no reason to work hard. Last time I did say I have a reason but I realized that's not it at all. I'm not in dire need. I'm not doing this to prove anything or anyone. I'm not in intellectual hunger. Heck, I haven't even reignited my ambitions in life. It's like I'm zombified. Shouldn't I have a motivation for all of this? A compelling force that drives me?
What's even worse than that is that it's only my mind that's fussing about it all. Sort of like, fighting a ghost that is not there. Or summoning one just so I have a reason for a scare.
Sigh. Can't say I'm going insane. I think I'm pretty much immune to that. Or am I? o_O woo