Them: Quentin, it looks like we need you to save us millions of dollars.

Me: No shit, Sherlock.

Them: And for that, we need to erase your current identity, wipe out unnecessary memories in your brain, as well as burn out your fingerprints from your ... fingers.

Me: Cool, I'd get to be some double-o agent. Can I choose a name?

Them: We have also provided you with cybernetic enhancements just in case your arms fall to the floor from being worn out on the computer keyboard. Secure it from your officemate's corpse.

Me: Do I get to see the sun at least once a month?

Them: You will be hooked into intravenous fluids. Enjoy your existence.