Last saturday I went home to our little barrio in Cavite. As I said in some posts before that my usual routine is to catch up with what's happening there and update them to what's happening to me.

I've mentioned to them of my retirement from my current company and such. And then I told mom that maybe in two years I plan to go abroad, perhaps in the US where my friends are.

Mom got a bit surprised and said, "Son, don't you want to marry first"?

I replied to her with a bit of a casual tone, "Nah, it's okay".

She sounded alarmed by my reaction and asked me to do so before I turn 33.

Ah parents can be endearing indeed. I did tell her that I am dating someone to assure her that I'm still a normal male person. However, I did tell her that it's far from anything because well, she's pretty busy and would be leaving the country anyway.

Moments ago, dad already sat on a chair and was listening to us, looked at me and replied, "Son, don't let her go".

I told them, "Nah, wouldn't want to be in charge of somebody else's life". Somehow I wish I could also tell them how I'm becoming indifferent about this whole affair. The good thing about it though is that despite the dating disasters, I was never disappointed about myself. Sure I can be really pathetic at times, but that's just me letting myself go through the phase -- I need it to happen.

Yeah, the pursuit can be fun at first, as is the job of the male species. But after a while I too can get tired of it. I mean why bother if it's all for nothing right? Looking on the bright side I could say that's the good part. It's a test on what I truly believe would make me hold on to a person no matter what the situation is. Isn't that what all relationships have to go through?

All of this also reminds me how I've become so much more than just their sickly son. More than I've ever thought I would learn from living on my own. For a brief instant I felt that I'm older than them.

I then picked up my bag, kissed mom and patted dad on the shoulder to bid farewell. It was time to go back to the chaos that is Manila. Time to deal with the chaos inside my heart and mind as well.


The new wallet Kleng gave to me showcasing the piling mess on my desk. To use, or to not use?