"Alam mo yun? Parang ang mga tao dun pinanganak para lang magka-anak."

That's how I went while talking to a colleague. I was describing my hometown. Where everything seems so still, and nothing ever really changes.

Well maybe a few home improvements ... and an increase in population every so years.

I surprise myself that it's a place I used to really love. And now, it's a place I don't want to go back to. Like an old shirt that will only rip apart if I try to wear it.

I try to say to myself, I will miss this and this, things that can only be found there. But deep down, those are just words. There's no feeling attached to it anymore.

I don't think I'm someone who dreams of making it big, that's why I couldn't find myself fitting in there. I think I'm someone who's looking for change. And perhaps, above all, adventure. Or in a bit of humor, I wanted chaos.

"E kung chaos lang pala hanap mo, e di mag-asawa ka ng tatlo-tatlo."

That was my humorous reply. Hehe. It's not that I wanted to create chaos to enjoy it. I want it where it naturally occurs ;)

Maybe when I get older, and I've had enough of it, I just might find it in my most serene moments of thought ... that I left a place where I grew up.


"Ako? Ako walang pangarap sa buhay ...", that's how another colleague went in one of those off-work conversations.

The dreamless.

At one point I belonged to this group. Just drifting here and there. Making it through a day at a time. Carpe diem in the utmost, narrow-sighted manner.

But, everyone needs to dream. Everyone must have something to drive them. It's one of the things that will prevent you from becoming a mere existence (not that it's an evil in itself). It doesn't have to be things other people have to know. It just needs to be your own fire.

Good thing it wasn't too late for me. I found my dream again ^_^ and ya know, that makes me tons happy.