Well, this was made with cherubim as inspiration (doubt she'll be able to digest all of it though, haha). I'm trying hard to make it look "general", but I guess it became too personal so I won't be spreading this anywhere else. Enjoy.~~~
To You,
I may not matter much to you now. Nor would I have any guarantees that I will be in the immediate future. It's just I'd like to take your attention ... just this once.
At times we will have something to talk about. Whether it is about you or me, or just about whatever comes to mind that will let you understand me more, or me understand you more, or just for no specific reason at all. But realize that I also want to know if you can understand my silence. Sometimes, it is not that I have nothing to say, but because you being here is statement enough. And that I am hinting that we have something now that will only be spoiled by words, as there is no vocal language in the world that can accurately say how I enjoyed being beside you.
I will never ask for your past. That is for you to decide to tell if needed, for it is really not my business what you were before as it could may not be what you are now. And there may be facts about you that will break my heart or test my beliefs. Yet, be not alarmed about this. I come from an old-fashioned and conservative lot, where women must know how to honor themselves to be worth the long run. Do know that that belief will always be a part of me, but also know that I am not narrow-minded that I will value your dignity over you. In these times when being flashy and cool can help you get laid, I have principles I won't break. As I shall hold respect for you regardless as how you see yourself as. That is my solemn vow.
I have not much care for the material things in the world. They fade, become rusty, get worn off, thrown to the trash, or recycled. So fret not what I have, for it is enough. An extravagant man will always find his coffers wanting at the end of the day, while a wise one will always make a way even if his safes are hollow. I have my own ideas on what is important, and so do you which may be different. It's just that I will never love something that cannot love me back. That is why I will discard in my life things that are unimportant, or less important than you.
You are not just a beautiful person to me, for you mean a lot more than that and everything that you have yet to accept about yourself. To believe that though, have courage in yourself as well, and try to verify my words when it has need of truth.
Don't throw away your doubts, I may need them so as not to abuse you, but please don't let them poison yourself either, as I can only take so much for having to work to gain your trust.
Sometimes you will see me miserable, or weak, or as unfortunate as it may seem, I may cry. I am not ashamed of it, as a lot of other things about myself I'm not proud of. I am more afraid of being a hypocrite and create illusions of what is really happening. Remember though, to let me fight alone sometimes, for I do not wish to be coddled and become too dependent on you. I will let you fight your own battles too, but I'll be unfair for I will be by your side guiding your arm, and be there for you. Don't forget your own dreams! You are still a person by yourself, and I will not take that away from you. But please give allowance for me when I grieve that you will leave me under that circumstance or otherwise. For sometimes, I dream with you in it, as that is the nature of things.
And lastly, please understand that I cannot be a mind reader. That is why I will need for you to be honest about yourself, that you can tell me straight to my face what is wrong, or what is bugging you. For that, I will try my best to be sensible, and understanding, and patient. Make no mistake; you have power to hurt me with words. But a more painful lash will be words that should have been said but never was. I will strive to do the same for you to constantly remind
you that you are worth all this and
more.
I have fallen for you -- that is by chance. And now, I have chosen you, a statement even made more powerful when uttered by a person who is giving his best to present himself as the person you need not wait long in your life for. I will constantly invent myself, may it be for you or may it be for myself. I hope so too, that the seriousness of my words will dissipate from my sincerity and our laughter.
I am making this real. I am making it real. Let me make you happy.
~~~
But if my love is rejected, for any reason at all, I'd like to know soonest. For I'd like to keep good memories of you while I walk on ahead until I find someone who will tuck me in her heart. Life is too short to let the pause button pressed for too long.