The Terrible Writings of Quentin Montejo
Serial experiments on a fallen archangel who only wanted to regain just one wing back
Free of the World. Rain worshipper. Hermit. Tormented mind. Caged spirit. Defiant and eternal enemy of Destiny and Fate. Poet. Scientist. Artist. Daydreamer. He who laughs. Slacker. Sleeper. Romancer of wings and clouds. Fiercely independent. He who is ponderous. Games and anime junkie. Four eyes. Caveman. Nature-lover. He who doesn't think that hard. Non-smoker. Music-junkie. Counter of blessings. Guitar-hugger. He who simply wants what everybody else would like to be in this world and the next -- to be happy.
Friday, November 24, 2006
Should Women Propose to Men? WHY NOT
This blog has been LACKING quality entries. Finally found one and honestly, I feel excited that I found her bloggy. This is from Joy, an ex-officemate of mine. And yes, she has a strong personality and very opinionated.
And before anyone thinks I'm feminist, let me give a more proper term. I'm an individualist.
She also holds my career in her hands should I croak, lol.
Men rule the world, women rule the men.
- Sherry Argov (from the book Why Men Love Bitches)
I've been dying to share my thoughts on the question - "Should a woman propose to a man?" Maybe this has something to do with me reading this book of Sherry Argov lately (which by the way so much fun to read maybe because I can relate most of the time to her scenarios and examples ).
Well, being in a conservative culture, I defer to a general impression that only men do marriage proposals. BUT, I also say it doesn't mean women can't.
Err...wait a minute. For a moment, I forgot I am a Filipino woman. The customs and traditions on matters of settling down are still around the corner. I am not against them by the way. I am not just a conformist. Maybe I should rephrase my question - Can a Filipino woman propose to a man?
Pardon the discrimination but our generation has not surpassed successfully this adage over practicality and equality.
Seems odd, isn't it? When let's say you have found or at least you thought that you have found the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, you decided to try to pop the question,"Will you marry me?" or "Would you like to be my husband?" (Hmn...I also wonder if a woman proposing should prepare a romantic setting plus an ENGAGEMENT ring Hell, you are going to buy your own engagement ring...unless of course you want your man goin around with diamonds too!) .
Funny, but hey...I am not so sure if this is something you will be proud of,with your family and friends potentially thinking "ey woman, u look desperate!"
So a woman proposing will look desperate and a man will not?
So women should wait. Until men finally make up their minds.
No. That doesn't seem FAIR.
We are undoubtedly in the age of equality. Modern times also call for modern thinking. We have accepted that women can ask men out for dates, pay the bills, flirt and seduce them....so why not take the lead as well in proposing marriage?
We are career-oriented women who spark competition in a male-dominated society. We no longer stay at home and be on a 24/7 service-oriented domestic career. Not that I am against being a housewife, but the point is....we like to do more than women of the previous generations.
I try to be a woman of our times. I know what I want. I seek and try to conquer what is there for me to rule. And I can say, I have other things to busy myself with than preoccupy err...ratlle my peace about the idea of settling down. However, I also look forward to having my own family . And if you think you are with someone who doesn't share the same idea, who looks at the future bleakly on the idea of having children, who after a period of being together still uncertain whether you are the "ONE", then why allow that person to waste your time? When there are other OPPORTUNITIES out there - be it a career, a new place to go, or another man you deserve.
A woman should know if her time is being wasted. Biological clock sucks...we can't deny the fact that we could die giving birth, nine months of looking ugly and we still have other prime responsibilities to look after our husbands as well.
To answer this question, a woman should propose ONLY if she is 99% sure that she is prepared to be a wife and a mother, and the remaining 1% if you think you have found "The One". Not the other way around. Para ka lang pipikot nyan, with panache.
And the same consequences apply: prepare to be rejected. I would rather be rejected than get a YES and I will unknowingly make a runaway Groom. Of course, same conditions should be considered prior proposal - like getting hints if you and your guy are on the same page. But if he is a commitment-phobic a**hole, then maybe take some time to visit St. Jude prior you come up with a plan.
Whether you get a favorable result or not, as long you as you have done your part, you move on. You better do. And don't let it hamper you for knowing and getting what you want. His loss. Not yours.
I always tell a friend, there is always a disadvantage for women when they choose to settle down late. The biological clock works against our many options. So better know what and when you want it. Otherwise, don't waste time...do what you got to do..and move on.
Site design © 2006 Quentin Montejo Productions