Quentin: Had to cut a few snips here and there, because she really didn't want to let anyone read it. Well, I thought myself, I'm sure she won't mind if I post a few parts of it :} I'm just proud of her, and it warms my heart whenever she writes

...

dated Tuesday, September 27, 2005 5:10 AM

hi anche. musta na ikaw? tagal ko bago makasagot sa email mo. sensya na, naging super busy talaga ako this past month, and i barely even had the time to read my books nor to hold my camera :(

...

so anywey, bakit di ka kasama sa mga pupunta dito for the new java project? daya mo naman, ayaw mo na ba ako makasama? naks, ang aga ko naman mag-emote, mamaya pa dapat yan pag nagsusumbong na ako eh :D

...

ayaw mo ba or the offer was never even mentioned to you? hmp, sayang naman. i wish you can come over and kick some (indian) ass ..

(Quentin: haha, sometimes I kick my OWN ass)

...

you really should be here. waltz, you and i can take long walks on weekend afternoons, and then we can spend sometime doing silly things and laughing at ourselves again.. you know? ok, yung totoo naman... punta ka na dito para may maasar ako ulit. hehe!

(Quentin: wow, threeso ... este three's a company. hehe)

...

makulit pala si ivy. hehehe! matagal ko na syang kilala, pero ngayon lang kami may chance na talagang magkakwentuhan. she has mouthfuls to say about you, feeling ko nga alam ko na lahat ng sikreto mo. hahaha! hoy, selos ako ha? akala ko sa akin ka lang nagkukwento, ang dami ko pa palang hindi alam. hahahah! juk lang :D

sometimes i just sit and listen to her talk about you, and pretend like i didn't know about you're being like this or like that. tango lang ako, i just let her talk and talk. hindi nya ata alam that we would practically talk and text for hours before so (i think) i know you in a different level .. nga ba? hachuuuuu !! haz if! :D

(Quentin: MGA WALANGHIYA KAYO GINAWAYA NYO PA AKONG ITEM !!)

...

speaking of mag-ama, kelan ka ba matatawag na 'ama'? hahha! pressure is mounting.. dati girlfriend lang ang kinukumusta ko syo, ngayon anak na. eh baka kasi wala ka talagang balak mag-asawa, gusto mo lang ng anak, malay ko ba? sabagay, kahit ba against ako doon eh kung dun ka masaya, supurtahan taka, diba koya? hehe..

(Quentin: parang may kilala akong ganun din sinabi sa kin *ehem* reyna *ehem*)

...

To you my bestfriend, wait til I get there and everything will be alright.

Lately, I've been broadcasting to my friends that I'm a wreck. It's an exaggeration ofcourse. It's just a defense mechanism of mine for being visited by bad thoughts and memories lately. From a really, really long time ago.

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it was such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
Nobody said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start ...

It's just back then, I couldn't imagine myself to be a liar. I lied about a lot of things. Maybe it's a side effect of dreaming too much.

Oh well. Now that's in the drain.

*flush*

- James Blunt

Quentin: I think this is a beautiful song, almost like poetry with music. Despite the fact that the one who sang it sounded like his testicles were squeezed silly.

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
F**king high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

you could have it all
if you learned a little patience
although I cannot fly
I'm not content to crawl

so give me a little credit
have in me a little faith
I wanna be with you forever
tomorrow's not too late ...

~~~

and so the music goes, as I type this on my keyboard. You just go :} go wherever you want, and I'll be right here, sailing the skies and chasing after the moon ...

I am not a waste of everything you've dreamed of.
We won't make promises that we can't keep.

I won't let you down :}

Well, better late than never :}



I always love the way she takes pictures. They're always alive, even if it's a nude and stiff statue of the Oblation :} So may my best wishes come true for her (as to what those are, I have no frickin idea).

To Marge: Be Good. Be Bad. Just Be. :}

Funny thing I noticed today. I'm wearing

- a windbreaker Adidas jacket, blue/gray
- checkered, blue polo shirt
- gray slacks

my knapsack is gray
my umbrella is blue

If anyone of my friends remember, I once told them my whole wardrobe is monochrome gray (added a few colors here and there, like something blue :})

I would think color has a pyschological significance somewhere. Do you people notice that Jollibee, McDonalds, KFC, Wendys, etc., always have the color red? I think it subconsciously induces appetite. Perhaps that's why Greenwich isn't as successful as the other fast food chains and has to merge with Jollibee :}

AS for me being gray, perhaps it suggests I'm a gray, moody person (?) and loves gazing at skies :}

So she was supposed to enter the pantry, and I was at the door looking for my lunchmates. She gave out a shy-sounding "Excuse me ..." to get through the door, even though it was still big enough for her to pass through.

If I was my normal me, I would have said "No." and then kiddingly say "Joke :}"
Instead, I quickly stepped aside hiding my little smile.

After finishing my lunch, I was washing my metallic spoon and fork, and then I noticed her by my side and there she was with her shy-sounding voice. I couldn't quite hear what she said, but it must be also "Excuse me ... "

If I was my normal me, I would have said "No. Wait your turn" and give out a big grin. Instead, I quickly gave way hiding my little smile.

Har! Not me!

Quentin: Just a part of the fantasy novel I have been building through the years. Just wanted to post it here as a reminder that I have a lot more to go.

I was a soldier, but I have no memory of the wars I have fought. My only proof - the dents and scratches on my armor, and a note. That I have come to this world to discover something, to know, and to understand why I am no longer a destroyer. It also warns me not to try to recover my memories, at least not yet.

For months I have wandered the desert where I gained consciousness. A few times I have encountered creatures not totally unlike me in form, but undeniably crude and weak. Since they are of no use to me, I killed them and continued on walking the vast expanse of sand. Their minds are weak as well, as they seem incapable of mind-speak. Ironic of the fact that their body size encompasses mine somewhat.

Until I came to a settlement, full of the same weak creatures I have encountered not too long ago. Since I know that they have no power to destroy me, I continued on, looking for their leader.

These creatures parted to make way, but their purpose for doing so is unknown to me. Even though I can read their minds, none of the information I get from them make any sense, hence is useless. I would have decided to destroy this settlement, but I am in need of information.

Until at last, I came in front of a seemingly old version of these creatures. Even though I can now associate the vocal sound coming out of their mouths with what's in their minds, I took its message directly from its brain.

'He' is 'welcoming' me in this place called 'Miramina'. 'He' is asking what 'he' can do for me. I took this chance to read their minds altogether and piece the information ever since I have woken up. These creatures are called 'men'. The one in front of me is named 'Faros'. He is 'respected' by all these 'men'. And they call him 'Faros the Benevolent', and that they will listen to 'him'.

Such a position would enable me to learn more of this world. So I reconstructed their vocal language, and told them all, "I am Faros". I then crushed the old man in front of me with my hands.

Something called 'fear' emanated around me, coming from these 'people'. From somewhere among them, amidst the 'fear' and 'despair', I picked up the word 'tyrant'. I looked for the meaning of this word, and then I continued,

"I am Faros the Tyrant. You will all do as I say".

That's my mood today.

Either I roll on my bed the whole day, buy some MTG cards, or play Guild Wars would really do.

- Orange and Lemons

Quentin: Even though I haven't watched Pinoy Big Brother, I happen to pass by and get this song in hifi. It's nice, you all should hear it. I'm beginning to like OaL, they have this easy, smooth-sounding music.

Intro: D-A-E-Gm

VerseI:D-A-E-Gm
Lahat tayo mayroon pagkakaiba madalang makikita na
Iba't ibang kagustuhan ngunit isang patutunguhan
Gabay at pagmamahal ang hanap ko
Pagbibigay ng halaga sa iyo
Nais mong ipakilala kung sino ka man talaga?

Chorus: D-A-E-Gm
Pinoy, ikaw Pinoy
Ipakita sa mundo
Kung ano ang kaya mo
Ibang-iba Pinoy
Wag kang matatakot
Ipagmalaki mo, Pinoy ako
Pinoy tayo

VerseII: D-A-E-Gm
Ipakita mo ang tunay at kung sino ka?
Mayroon masasama at maganda
Wala naman perpekto
Basta magpakatotoo oohh...
Gabay at pagmamahal ang hanap mo
Pagbibigay ng halaga sa iyo
Nais mong ipakilala kung sino ka man talaga?

Repeat Chorus

VerseIII:D-A-E-Gm
Talagang ganyan ang buhay
Dapat ka nang masanay
Wala rin mangyayari
Kung laging nakikibagay
Ipakilala ang iyong sarili
Ano man sa iyo ang mangyari
Ang lagi mong iisipin
Kayang kayang gawin

Repeat Chorus

Back when I was a kid, I remembered my own parents teasing me that I was a crybaby. I was, because everything hurt so much. They would tell me, "para ka namang papaya", because as you know a little prick on a green papaya would instantly give out sap.

And as we all know, society programs men not to cry. A funny disciplinary action my dad would give me would go like, "'Wag kang iiyak kundi papaluin kita!". I stopped crying not because I don't want to be hit, but because I was kind of confused how that line of his works >:D

Yes ladies and gentlemen, if the US law (does it exist?) regarding acts of violence to kids were applicable here, I'd be having a field day :} Heck, I remembered my brother having a slap on his butt from my father's palm. You could literally see the outline of his hand on his butt cheek (haw haw haw, I laugh at it to this day). Even my own mom would slap me with those plastic rulers (Euclid? Orion? I don't remember the brand anymore!) when I couldn't, and get this, memorize my homework.

So there, back when I was a kid, I was forced to be a man and a savant. It was unfortunate that they don't know how to deal with a child with signs of autism (me!). But let's assume I'm still normal yet.

Now where we ... oh yeah, I might as well divulge some significant embarassing moments. Yeap, I cried when I watched Legends of the Fall. Alone. In the moviehouse. With people around me.

And at one point in college, I went to Manila Cathedral alone and cried my heart out because I couldn't take the stress anymore. (funny thing too, because it was in front of Manila Cathedral where I broke up with an ex, many years later)

There was also the matter of crying in a hotel in Los Angeles because I missed someone soooooo much. The place was in front of Disneyland even. Irony huh? A place of fun and games just in front and I was there weeping like a sissy girl >:D Continued crying some more for a few nights back in the staff house, just for kicks *tee hee*

Ah, it's been long since I cried when I skinned my knee.

As most of you know, PEx is blocked from the office, and I can no longer go there and sow chaos and confusion amongst the gullible PExers that seem to reside there. Anyway, just writing out a thought that I'm a person who loves interacting with other people's lives.

No, not messing, not intruding, just merely passing by and give thoughts about the matter they have -- though quite limited to topics that tackle their take on life in particular. All else, like say how'd you like to make everything pink just hurts my eyes.

Thus, people who talk about their struggle, their rants, and stuff like that, intrigue me. And in a way, it affects how I deal with people in real life. It doesn't concern me dreadfully that there's a new CD of some artist you love at Tower Records, what I'd like to know is why you like it, or what moves you because of it.

People might comment how I could get cerebral about things when they read this. But for those who know me out there, I'm the sort of person who likes to goof off all the time. And be obnoxious and all that jazz.

Huh jazz. That word has a weird effect on me, but I couldn't point out what it is.

- Bonnie Bailey (Eric's Beach Mix)

Quentin: I've watched its music video this morning and I found it to my liking. Makes me want to go to the beach again. And just you, know ... jam! Here's to everybody's twisted sunshines !! (put some emphasis on some lines to make it feel like the song is for dancing)

Three years ago my journey began
Chasin down this cure no plan in hand
Just your pulse, my reason guiding the dark
Just no wind with conviction from the start
The moment your eyes made an introduction
I felt my second violent breath of life
Flawless to the point of bein cocky
Yet I fell for all your imperfections

Now its slightly weathered, its slightly worn
Our hands still together until after the storm
I believe in ever after with you
Cause life is a pleasure with you by my side
And there aint no current in this river we cant ride
I believe in ever after with you

Nothing compares to the good times
Feels like were floating when the rest of them climb
You made me believe in love and not the perfect kind
A real messy beautiful, twisted sunshine
Emotions: volcanic eruptions
We both took care so were still alive
Tunnel vision . . . determination
I want you, I want to make it right

Now its slightly weathered its slightly worn
Our hands still together until after the storm
I believe in ever after with you
Cause life is a pleasure with you by my side
And there aint no current in this river we cant ride
I believe in ever after with you

You are my twisted sunshine
You are my twisted sunshine

My team leader who went to the US has begun itching the management that I go there. And why wouldn't I? THREE of my very good friends are there together. My team leader, my best friend, and my travelling pal (my best friend's hubby) are there. My travelling pal has already recommended that I do offshore assignments for the project, which would evolve into me being sent onsite.

In a way, I am glad that there are people who are good to me. But in another way, I wouldn't really want to go anywhere else. I am employing my cousin as a direct seller so now she at least have something to earn, I'm reading good stuff about financing lately, and I wouldn't want to be too far away from friends (and uh, prospective women).

Ah better stop thinking about it. Even if I go there I don't think I won't be long. Besides, it's way too early. Two other projects are under my coat right now. At least I have something to busy myself with.