I think in a way, I'm better off than most people. I never did something that would make me go:

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- I've never knowingly did any life-threatening actions (to myself or to others). Not sure about sticking my tongue on that USB port extension.
- I've never stolen anything. At least, what's not already mine.
- I've never killed anyone. Though I've massacred people in my mind in genocidal proportions.
- I've never attempted suicide. I tried trying to stop breathing but unfortunately, I've only known after that incident that it was medically impossible. Like licking your elbow.
- I've never cheated on people, either on their money or their virginity. Ok, belay the last word.

Knowing these things and then some, would people think I'm a good man?