All those days left for thinking and meditating means I did a lot of thinking and meditating and not enough blogging for those matters that i thought and meditated on. Such a waste.
- I was about to type another entry like a "My Life So Far" sort of thing, the last was in January. Although it has only been three months, a few significant events happened that has affected me profoundly. Unfortunately, none of which are good news.
- I found myself finding it harder to sing (ok guys, this is my moment of self-indulgement, walang kontra bulate !). Not that I can't but I feel that my heart is too heavy to carry out a succession of notes. Which leads to the fact that I am unhealthy as the veins and arteries around my heart shoots out pain every once in a while. I changed my diet to include more Vitamin Cs and fresh thingies while cutting down on meat or processed foods (and it helped! almost no pain after a week). But deep down, I haven't healed emotionally. Yech, emotions.
- in which case, I need to go out some more. Truth be told however, I don't feel at all excited to go to Tagaytay this weekend (sorry guys!) my best friends are my guitar and a bottle of tequila.
- Mom is trying out her new cellphone. And for some reason, I find it hard to see her using it.
- which leads me to another idea. I'm thinking of letting her have something to do in her spare time. Grow flowering plants and sell them, stuff like that. I'd imagine how bored she is right now in her new home. Although I am sure there's nothing there that she's not doing already when she was still in our old house (like sleep all day). At least back there, there's enough space to grow plants.
- I talked to an officemate during lunch today at Kitaro's in Podium. Told how I don't want my brother to be around where I'm working. Sort of like, I've built this circle apart from my family for seven years and I'm not beginning to let anyone from my other circles invade it.
- I've composed a couple of poems in my mind and haven't been able to post them in Friendster. These two at least, won't talk about anything concerning love or all that shit. One is spiritual, and the other existential. Sort of. When I am in front of the message box, somehow all the words erode away and I'm left with a bodiless piece of poetry in my head. Which ofcourse, I won't post.
- somehow, I've been imprinting my personality with my element (Earth). Gotta get that thing out of my head. What I mean you say? It's like this, I'm a person resistant to change, favors stability, and I wouldn't move if I don't have to (even if I did, I'd give it some forethought). I have brooding personality, and don't get angry often. But all those negativity build up and burst, forever leaving some sort of scar.
- now I'm tired. End post.