I was a very sick kid the day I was born. Not unexpectedly, all of my mother's sorrows I absorbed and manifested itself in my frailty -- dry skin, thin bones, introvertiveness, xenophobia, autism, timidity ... I guess my mom was not cut out to take care of the needs of a very sickly kid beyond not letting him catch germs.

Heck, I even have to learn to recognize how to correctly react to pain and hunger at the ages of six to ten. I don't know how to normally associate with people by the time I got midway in highschool. By college, my knees still shake whenever I approach people I don't know but need to interact with. The self-confidence I have only lies on the fact that ever since I couldn't punch a classmate in 1st grade, I can always become better academically. Pen and paper don't talk back so that suits me well. The same goes for Game&Watch and PC games. And I was still a creepy kid in college when I would go to Isetann mall in Quiapo just to watch Tekken when it first came out.

Upon my first job interview, I was ready to take on the world. Show them what I've got inside my brain. Unfortunately, what I don't have is how to take on people. I could barely handle assholes and scum. I would cower and fold when I'm reprimanded viciously. I had a terrible time trying to cope and adapt. It feels like running in the dark with my hands outstretched, the only tools I have to know I won't be hitting a wall.

At the age of twenty-three up til twenty-six or so, I realized I have trouble even speaking straight. Yes ladies and gentlemen. I can't hold a conversation straight for more than five minutes until my synapses begin tripping down on each other and muddling my coherence.

I speak to very few people, and even if I do, I had to simplify my language and repeat what they say twice or more inside my head just to comprehend what is being said to me.

A cripple. That's what I still am. Yet I don't complain. I can't complain.