All the words that I've been saving for this blog entry is gone. The only thing in my head is that song by Hale (after a while, they're sound like whining men complaining of constipation).

Well ok, I saw a young picture of me when I was 23. It was one of the first group EBs I've attended in PEx.

I've grown old. Older than the five years that passed by since then. The mirror is showing it: eyes tired and sunken, ash-tinted pale skin, some weight, and symptoms of a chronic heart disease (never really told mom).

I remembered saying to myself that I've died a thousand times but only lived a few hundred.

Somehow, I'm still that old quiet kid who could barely talk.

---

Anyway, here's a poem I made in PEx.

To be read while listening to "You First Believed" (italicized text lines from said song), when the chorus is already playing. Hope I don't make these too often. I kinda hate the aftertaste.


how many wishes i can get from a star
before it fades

it was you who first believed

how many stars can I see through a car window
before i have to look back on the road

it was you looking in my eyes

how long does the road have to be
before i find you in this vast expanse of night

and i've never been the same since you first believed

how many nights do i count still
before it begins giving me warmth

it was you who first believed

how much warmth do i need
before i am ok

in all that i was made to be

how can i be ok when you keep going away?

it was you looking in my eyes

how much farther will you go away
before you stop and look at me

you held my hand and you showed me life

how will you look at me
if you're too blind to see through this night

and i've never been the same

how many stars do i light up
before you see your reflection in my eyes

since you first believed ...

how many stars ... how many stars ...