Take any emotion, love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I'm going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through, then you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid.

You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief, you're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails.

- Tuesdays with Morrie

Let me sound like a different version of that old man, Morrie for now.

Sometimes we wish we could say we've made the best decisions in life. Some are really bad. Some we shouldn't have done. And some, we wish we had a chance to do it over again. And of a few, sometimes we wish we made that step.

I think I've blogged sometime that I only have started being brave for the things I do not too long ago. That doesn't mean I wasn't afraid of the consequences of my emotions -- I was, big time. But if I didn't start taking risks, nothing will happen to me. I will stagnate and forever wonder what life would be for me if I had taken that what-if.

Ofcourse we don't get what we want all the time, in fact, that is always the case. But it's more dangerous to be staying in the safe lane for too long. In my case, if I don't give my lazy ass some sunlight, it'll forever be pale :D

And if what I did didn't turn out right, then lesson learned -- then move on. I'll give allowances to grieve or if needed, let the whole cycle of healing complete itself in its own time. Then move on. It is pointless to daydream about what should have happened.

Then you ask, would things have been better if I held back? My answer is, it wouldn't have been better if I knew in myself that I am only offering half of what I am capable of. Just be cool ^_^

(btw, for those who haven't read the book, do so you zerglings)


In other news, Kerberos is stuck at 123. And I lost my Dynamic Mercenary shoes [B]+5 in that damnable Suryun event T_T