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A Moment of Zen IV: In the way of things, where does mine reside? Where does it go?


I've been making good decisions for myself lately.

I have been living my own carpe diem sort of way. Doing things I want, whatever my heart desires most. Ofcourse, that makes me prone to spoiling myself too much. But that's not too much of a concern right now. My priority is to make myself as happy as possible.

Which is what's happening anyway :) Unfortunately, I'm back in my hermit ways which means I go to my haunts alone and in the cover of night XD [as for what that is, it's easy to guess for those who know me]

Whenever I go home, I sometimes prepare in my mind what to say if ever I meet a friend just round the block or something. I most often stay away from Starbucks joints because the probability of friends being there is high XD

Let's go to another interesting thought that just visited me.

I remembered Gran talking about an interesting perspective with hate.

She said, it is okay to hate. Hate means that you also have the capacity of the reverse, which is love. And hate can be converted to love. What she told us to be weary of is indifference. To be 'numb' and 'unfeeling' would be like the worst thing you can do to yourself.

When you hate, you will eventually find a release, and that's it. If you're indifferent, it doesn't change. And as we all now, what does not change, rots.

That made me think about to whom I have a branded hate for.

Yeah it's true. I've hated someone I have loved. When our time was over, I had no idea what's the best way to let go. Considering the fact that I had no idea where we're going in the first place. Oh, and such a venomenous hate it was. Yet when I dug deeper, in my most solemn of moments I've been thinking, I knew that I cared. I still cared and it was manifesting in ways the went ahead of my hate.

So right now, I am more at peace with myself. What I felt was okay. I'm good.

All the more to be happy eh?