Last weekend, I am thinking about my current goals in life.

I've realized (and re-realized) that I am a very capricious creature who would bend/postpone my dreams for an impulsive decision.

Yeah, even though I have dreams of adventure, I also have other dreams. And sometimes I think they're all just illusions I set myself just so I have a direction. But ... aren't all dreams start out as illusions?

Another thing that rips me apart is my sense of contentment setting against my sense for change. I can live with what I have now, but every now and then, I want something big to happen -- and I seek it. Something to excite me.

And nothing excites me more than adventure.

I wanted every mp3s I've listened to to have an accompanying adventure and build a whole music video out of it. Yeah. I dream endlessly of that. I dream of summerlands and crashing waves, of beaches and old books in libraries.

Sometimes ... sometimes I do tie down my dreams like a balloon to a post. Just so I could reach something else.

God knows how many times I did that :(

But as fate would have had it, maybe I still need to wander some more. Perhaps until the end of my life.